


Ashes of the Wake

by TheBodyBioelectric



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Episode: s04e04 The Break Up, F/F, I actually mostly finished writing a work before I started posting, Investigations, It only took 2 years, Maggie detecting, Not to spoil it but, Now with a Hugo award winning author, Psychological Horror, Temporary Character Death, Unreliable Narrator, alex is dead, canon but it's fixed, maggie is a bamf, some violence but not too bad I don't think, sort of like a police procederal, there is a happy ending, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-08-20 11:55:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20227444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBodyBioelectric/pseuds/TheBodyBioelectric
Summary: Alex was dead. Maggie knew it, from the hole in her heart to the fire that never quite quenched itself behind her eyes. It's the worst thing she thought could happen, the black hole of anguish she knows she can't escape.Turns out it's even worse when when she comes back wrong.





	1. Alex Was Dead, to Begin With

**Author's Note:**

> I have 8 of 9 chapters written I promise I'll be good to you this time audience
> 
> I love you I know I done you wrong in the past but let's start fresh
> 
> Oh yeah also read and review or whatever sorry for the wangst and plagiarizing Dickens

She had been sitting in the police precinct’s parking lot for almost half an hour now. The air felt clammy, even in her car. The unnatural fog that had rolled in to the National City Bay was, according to the weather forecasters, only a temporary weather pattern over the next couple of days. The recently reinstated National City detective didn’t know if she could think that far ahead, but she supposed she should make an attempt. The fog hung in the air with infinite patience as she sat, delaying the inevitable.

Taking a deep breath, Maggie admitted defeat and stepped out of her car.

“Sawyer, welcome back,” her lieutenant said as she walked past dozens of people actively not noticing her.

“Thank you, sir. I’m glad you’re still willing to welcome me back,” she said.

“Between you and me? From personal experience, it always sucks coming back after drying out, and I’m not gonna dump more on your plate with some hard ass bullshit,” He said, mustache hiding the tight line of his face. “I do have to check that you know things are going to be different though.”

“I understand,” Maggie said. “Bust me down to petty theft, traffic tickets, whatever. I’m happy to have the chance for penance.”

“You think I brought you back to write parking tickets? No, you’ve got a back log on alien weapons cases and missing persons built up on your desk by now,” He said.

“So what’s different?” Maggie asked.

“I’m assigning Skelli as your babysitter. Congratulations, detective, you’ve got a new partner,” He said with half a smile as he handed Maggie a folder. “She’s already at the crime scene. Play nice, crack a few cases, you’ll get back on track with the brass. That, and lay off the booze.”

“Thank you, sir,” Maggie said as she suppressed an internal scream at the prospect of partnering with Angela Skelli.

She reminded herself that she had earned this.

Driving the five blocks in National City rush hour traffic gave her plenty of time to think about the last time she had had a partner, back in her uniformed days. She remembered that half of her motivation for burning as much midnight oil as she had cracking her cold case was so that she would have enough clout to never have to work with someone who made “jokes” about her ever again. She had come to National City to avoid that. The only way to avoid it was to control who she worked with and given that most cops were a certain kind of flamboyantly straight man, she had angled to abandon the idea of a partner entirely. 

From what she’d heard of Skelli, she seemed to fit in with the boy’s club despite being a self-described soccer mom. 

Maggie could not think of a more glaring red flag.

As she finally pulled up the adress given to her in the file, Maggie took several deep breaths to steel herself before she walked up to the door and knocked.

A short, dark-haired woman with an unnatural blueish tint to her dark skin opened the door for Maggie. Her momentary concern for the woman quickly faded when she met the woman’s catlike eyes, clearly indicating that this woman was an alien and not suffering from oxygen deprivation.

“Hello, I’m Detective Maggie Sawyer, my partner Detective Skelli is supposed to be here?” Maggie said.

“Yes, she’s just back in… in Jessica’s room, collecting evidence,” the woman said with downcast eyes. 

“Thank you,” Maggie said as she allowed herself to be led back to a small bedroom.

On opening the door, Maggie felt her breath hitch as a name came up to her lips she hadn’t let herself speak in months. As soon as the redheaded detective turned around, however, all similarities to Alex save the red hair fell away, leaving her tasting acid in her mouth. She wished she could wash the taste away with a drink.

“You must be Maggie. I’ve heard a lot about you,” Maggie’s new partner said.

“Can’t say the same for you, Detective Skelli, but here’s to making some headlines,” Maggie said as she raised her coffee in a mock toast before she walked into the room. “What do we have?”

“Right to business, we’re being professional, I get it,” Skelli said as Maggie rolled her shoulders in annoyance. She never could stand people who narrated their own lives.

“Ok, so it looks like a single mother, Katherine, reported a missing person after her daughter didn’t come home from school,” Skelli said.

“Ka Ateerinee. It’s Gradorian,” Maggie corrected absentmindedly as she opened her file for the second time that morning. 

“Oh. Um, well, Kateriney, Kahatearinnie… the mother, doesn’t have any domestic disturbances, her daughter was making A’s and B’s in school, so there’s no reason to suspect she ran away,” Skelli said. 

Maggie’s grimace tightened as she looked around the bedroom at the lavender wall paper and matching bed. 

“Maybe. Kids run away for a lot of reasons,” Maggie said. “We have any evidence?”

“Yeah, we have a teacher who reported hearing squealing tires near the school, and several loud engines,” Skelli said.

“Several? Not just one?” Maggie asked.

“Probably just traffic around the vehicle adjusting for someone driving a getaway car,” Skelli said.

“Mmm,” Maggie said. “Have we checked the route home for footage?”

“No CCTV pointed at it,” Skelli said. “There’s a row of gas stations and restaurant’s a quarter mile from the school, but they didn’t get anything. It’s why I came back here, I thought I might have missed something at the home.” 

“So, it happened within a quarter mile of the school?” Maggie asked. 

“Yes, but that’s a dead end. No footage, no one saw anything…” Skelli said in annoyance. “You wouldn’t believe hoops I had to jump through to even get the administration to send out probes to parents.”

“Parent’s don’t know anything,” Maggie muttered. “We should be at the school.”

“We can’t interview kids without administrative approval, parent permission slips, and about a million other things. We don’t have time to wait around for that,” Skelli said.

“That’s why we’re not going to,” Maggie said. 

“So what, it’s your first case back and you want to break about a dozen rules? Do you try to get hauled up before the review board?” Skelli asked.

“Nope. But we’re not interviewing kids, we’re going to check their phones,” Maggie said. “Quarter mile from a school that just let out? There was bound to be something recorded on a phone or social media.”

“First off, I’m pretty sure we’d need a warrant for that, and even if we got it, that’s thousands upon thousands of files. We need results now. Our 48-hour window is closing fast,” Skelli said. 

“I know a guy. I’m going to make a call,” Maggie said as she stepped outside as Skelli threw her hands up in frustration as Maggie heroically contained an eye roll. 

“Winn,” Maggie said. 

“Hey Maggie, how’s it being back at work?” Winn asked in a semi-distracted tone.

“I have partner now, so not great, but I’m fine,” Maggie said. “I’m not calling to complain though. I have a case I think the DEO can help with.”

“Oh? What is it?” Winn asked.

“Missing Gradorian, by the name of Jessica Aterinee,” Maggie said. “Abducted a quarter mile from her school in broad daylight, witnesses reported multiple loud engine sounds and sets of tire screeches, but no vehicles were caught on nearby CCTV cameras, and they timed it well enough that there weren’t any witnesses.”

“Sounds professional,” Winn said. 

“Sounds like Cadmus,” Maggie said.

“Alright, I’ll let J’onn know. Do you need any help?” Winn asked.

“Can you do a scan of social media or of the phones in the area from yesterday at 3:15 to 3:25?” Maggie asked.

“Probably, but it might take a couple of hours. Is there anything specific I should be looking for?” Winn asked.

“If it was multiple vehicles, probably one of them is a van of some sort and the others would be something that could block access or visibility of passersby, so look for a van with some very large vehicles or motorcycles with high ground clearance, the kind that could hop a curb and block an escape route,” Maggie said.

“Alright, will do. And Maggie?” Winn said.

“Yeah?” Maggie said.

“You’re sure you’re alright?” Winn asked.

“I’m… not sure, honestly. When I saw detective Skelli from behind, I saw her red hair, and she was wearing a dark suit, and I…” Maggie said, unable to finish the sentence.

“Hey, I get it,” Winn said. “It’s rough. You know I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

“Thanks,” Maggie said, hanging up the phone.

Maggie took half a second to compose herself before she saw Skelli again. 

“Alright, I made a call. How much physical evidence have we managed to pull from the likely site of the abduction?” Maggie asked.

“Nothing much. I sent a uniform out there as soon as I got the case as a precaution,” Skellie said.

“Want to wait for the call back there? I don’t think there’s much here we’re gonna find,” Maggie said.

“I suppose,” Skelli said. “Not going tell me who your source is?”

“It’s need to know,” Maggie said, somehow relishing being on the other side of federal aloofness for once. 

“And don’t I need to know as your partner?” Skellli asked. 

“Not unless you signed the same NDA I did,” Maggie said.

“Uh huh,” Skelli said with a frown. “I’m driving.”

Half an hour later, they were at the cordoned off area of the side walk that a bored looking police officer was sitting next to.

“Hey, Jacobs,” Skelli said as the two engaged in small talk Maggie did her best to ignore as she looked around the scene.

Maggie could feel something off about this place. It was as if her sense of malaise at the world was becoming palpable, but she couldn’t see anything wrong. It might have just been that Skelli was chatting about the precinct’s hockey team instead of focusing on the damn crime scene, though. Hypocrites about scheduling always bugged Maggie to no end.

Maggie had started walking towards the far end of the cordoned off area when it hit her.

“It smells like fish,” Maggie said.

“Uh, yeah, I guess it does,” The officer said.

“Think the school cafeteria was involved in the kidnapping, Sawyer?” Skelli asked.

“No, but I’ve smelled this before. This isn’t fish,” Maggie said as she began jogging the opposite direction, towards the other end of the cordon. As she approached it, she could feel her skin prickle and as she felt her skin start to turn clammy she had to force the image of Alex out of her brain before she bent down closer to the source. Triumphantly, she pointed to a large oil slick in the road.

“There,” Maggie pointed, as she stopped traffic and started wading out into the street, ignoring the horns blaring.

“What the hell, Sawyer,” Skelli yelled from the sidewalk and Maggie carefully gathered a small amount on the cotton head of the fluid sample taker she had in her pocket.

Retreating back to the sidewalk, Maggie proudly held up the sample.

“It’s an enzyme,” Maggie said, ignoring the cold sweat rolling down her back. “Feel on edge? Anxious?”

“Yes, you just walked out into the road to sample an oil slick, and I’m starting to think you’re still cracked up,” Skelli said, angrily gesturing to the backed-up traffic.

“It’s not an oil slick. This is fish oil, not motor oil,” Maggie said as she started briskly walking back to the car. “You want to know why on a busy school day no one walked anywhere near here?”

“Enlighten me,” Skelli said in exasperation. 

“The kids avoided walking here because they were afraid. This is why,” Maggie said. “I recognized the smell from when my girlfriend stunk up my fridge with lab samples of alien enzymes, stored in fish oil.”

Maggie was glad she was already feeling superior to this woman as she noted the uncomfortable swallow Skelli made at the mention of Alex before she spoke. 

“So what, all the kids didn’t follow Jessica that day because they were afraid to walk on this street?” Skelli asked. “One small flaw with that, what about Jessica?”

“I’m willing to bet that this enzyme doesn’t affect Gradorians,” Maggie said. “Just humans.”

“Good theory. How does it help us?” Skelli said.

“I know a guy who can help track this,” Maggie said. 

In another hour, Maggie had successfully called in another favor.

“Left,” Jeff said from the front seat as he took another big sniff out the open window. “We’re getting close now.”

“Time to get out?” Maggie asked the alien, who was currently allowing the city’s barrage of smells into the eight sensory pits that lined the middle of his face.

“I think so. Also, there’s a hot dog cart just down the street,” Jeff said pointedly.

“Jeff, focus. Food after hostage,” Maggie said.

“Fine,” Jeff grumbled as Skelli pulled the car into an open slot on the street.

“I’ll even double the number of good words I’m putting in with your parole officer,” Maggie said with an eye roll as the trio got out of the car.

“Fine, but you’re still buying,” Jeff said haughtily as he began sniffing again, leading the detectives down the sidewalk of the industrial district. 

“I can see why you get results in these kinds of cases, detective. It seems you know half the aliens in National City personally,” Skelli remarked as the pair of detectives followed the grey skinned alien’s directions.

“Community policing. It’s the only realistic model for change,” Maggie said distractedly. “How close are we?”

“Maybe 100 yards. Hey, maybe you should call some backup? I smell a lot more gunpowder than you two are carrying. And some formaldehyde,” Jeff said. 

“How many people are there?” Skelli asked.

“How am I supposed to know that? I have a good sense of smell, not precognition,” Jeff said.

“No one’s saying you aren’t being, helpful, Jeff,” Maggie said as she gave Jeff a pat on the arm before slipping him a crumpled bill. “We appreciate the help. Have a hot dog on me.”

“So what’s the plan?” Skelli asked. 

“We call for backup and a warrant,” Maggie said. “Meanwhile, we set up a surveillance perimeter until that gets here.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll radio it in,” Skelli said, swinging limberly into the car as she pulled out her phone.

Several hours later, the NCPD had the warehouse surrounded.

On Maggie’s hand signal, the tac team moved towards the industrial building in unison, silently shuffling as they moved forward to execute the emergency warrant. As they approached the two entrances, Maggie waited for a count of ten to let the other team get into position before they breached the doors of the supposedly abandoned warehouse.

Seconds later, both teams simultaneously burst through the doors. As the NCPD officers poured into the building, there were several quick exchanges of automatic weapons fire as the CADMUS guards began spraying the unexpected assailants. In a matter of seconds, the entire warehouse turned into a fire fight, with Maggie stuck behind a sturdy barrel in the open as she heard the rest of her squad do their jobs. she was in no position to help, somehow getting stuck with the worst line of fire on any of the raised positions in the warehouse. 

Maggie scanned the warehouse as the fire began to die down, figuring out that it must be some kind of make shift lab from the rows of operating tables and glassware being thrown every which way by the chaos in the room. As she took in the impressive scientific equipment set up around the room, Maggie noticed one black clad figure slipping down into a trapdoor in the warehouse floor carrying a black matte steel briefcase. 

Cursing herself already for the lecture she was sure to get from her captain about putting herself in unnecessary harm, Maggie flung herself across the exposed warehouse floor and managed to slide into the trap door behind the black clad woman.

As soon as she dropped onto the floor, she caught a strong blow to the head from the steel briefcase, knocking her to her knees. As she tried to stand, Maggie staggered under the kick to her shoulder that sent her blurry vision reeling all over the dimly lit tunnel.

As she lay on the floor for several seconds, attempting to regain her wits, Maggie heard the briefcase snap open and the rustle of hurried packing. By the time she was able to roll over and get a good look at her assailant’s back, several things were obvious. 

She was definitely looking at a woman, and the tailored black jumpsuit confirmed that fact. Furthermore, she was a woman with closely cropped red hair. And lastly, Maggie could see flashes of silver come from her left arm, and she soon realized in her muddled brain that the woman had lost an arm from below the elbow and had it replaced with a silver metallic limb.

As Maggie pushed herself to her feet, the woman began running down the tunnel, only to stop in front of a control panel. Maggie staggered after her, only to freeze when she saw the woman’s face.

It was Alex.

Maggie felt her world drop out from under her. She didn’t know up from down as she felt her stomach twist in horrible contortions, her breath coming out in the gasping, sucking breathes that followed getting the wind knocked from her chest.

“Danvers,” Maggie finally managed, drawing Alex’s attention away from the control panel.

Maggie’s heart fell even further when she saw Alex’s gaze pass right through her as she shoved her backwards with her superhumanly strong arm.

Maggie heard the sound of explosives detonating and soil falling behind her as the air filled with choking dust. Several moments later, Maggie heard the clomping of boots down stairs before she was dragged up to the surface.

Maggie wished she could stop seeing Alex’s face whenever she closed her eyes, but hours later she continued to see her ex’s beautiful visage with every blink as she was checked for a concussion by the paramedics.

“You know, you cracked this case and half a dozen other missing persons on your first day back thanks to aliens we found out back,” Skelli said as she walked up to Maggie. “And you stole a major Terrorist bust from the feds to boot. I think I know why the captain wanted to give you a second chance.”

“I have some redeeming qualities,” Maggie muttered.

“You know, I thought you were going to be impossible to work with. But I think we make a pretty good team,” Skelli said, nodding to the paramedic who have given Maggie.

“We got the bad guys. That’s what matters,” Maggie said distractedly. 

“You sure you’re ok? The captain will have my ass if I break you the first day back,” Skelli said.

“I’m fine,” Maggie said, shaking her head. “Just coming down from the adrenaline.”

“Make sure that you are. You’re a good cop, Sawyer. Don’t fall off the horse again,” Skelli said.

Maggie grunted. She knew Skelli meant well, and it was good advice. The last time she had touched a glass of anything stronger than beer had been during a week she could only remember half of, a week that had ended with her passing out at her desk. Given that that Skelli had probably seen Maggie mumbling incoherently about how her wife she had never married was dead and that she wanted to join her, Maggie couldn’t even feel that annoyed at the detective for mentioning it. 

It wasn’t just Skelli’s advice, either. It was Winn’s, and M’Gann’s, and her captain’s, and even her Tia’s advice.

She wished she could have followed it.

When she was half a bottle in and staring at the spiderweb cracks in the ceiling of her shitty apartment, her last thought before she passed out was the image of the soft brown eyes from the tunnel.


	2. Dig Up Her Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie please  
Maggie  
I'm going to swaddle you in a blanket if you don't stop this immediately

Maggie groaned at the lancing pain that shot through her head, startling her awake even as it made her want to close her eyes and fall back asleep. Throwing her hand over to the cold side of the bed, Maggie felt a pang in her chest as she was reminded again that there was no warm body on the other side of the bed to curl up against and that no one was going to get her a glass of water until she hauled her carcass over to the sink to get it herself.

Kicking herself for sleeping in her clothes in the damp weather, she sluggishly made her way to the bathroom to hydrate herself and scrub the taste of alcohol from her mouth. Mentally, she went over the list of things that she would have to do today as her thoughts from yesterday rushed back to her. As she drank her over-brewed black coffee in her clammy kitchen, she gathered up her courage and dialed the woman who should have been her mother-in-law.

“Hello. Dr. Danvers?” Maggie asked.

“Maggie, you know you can call me Eliza,” Eliza said.

“Yeah, I know, it’s just that this call isn’t really personal,” Maggie said. 

“Oh?” Eliza said. 

“I… listen, I know that what I’m about to ask is a lot,” Maggie said.

“Maggie. I meant it when I said you can ask me for anything,” Eliza said.

“I need to test Alex’s ashes,” Maggie blurted out.

Maggie wondered if she had been disconnected in the following silence.

“Can I ask what you’re testing for,” Eliza asked curtly. 

“I need the DNA results,” Maggie said as she let a breath out. “I saw something and I can’t get it out of my head. I just… I need to know that she’s really gone.”

“Maggie,” Eliza said. Maggie didn’t know whether to be insulted or touched that Eliza used the tone she normally only reserved to express disapproval to Alex.

“Look, I wouldn’t be asking if I hadn’t… I thought I saw her when I was raiding a CADMUS facility,” Maggie said. “I need to know it was just my mind playing tricks on me.”

“I understand what it’s like to not have anything to hold onto when you lose someone. The human mind is an incredible machine, but it breaks down when its dealing with trauma. All kinds of things can seem possible,” Eliza said. 

“I’m not cracking up. I know how this must sound, but the normal rules don’t apply with CADMUS. I mean I’ve literally had dinner with your dead husband,” Maggie said. 

“I know that, but he never died. We never saw a body. I saw Alex myself. She’s… she’s gone, Maggie,” Eliza said. “As much as I want her back it isn’t going to happen.”

“Then what’s the harm in testing the ashes?” Maggie asked.

“Because the ashes are unlikely to have any DNA left. You can’t prove a negative. You’re going to run yourself ragged and you’re not going to give yourself any time to grieve,” Eliza said. 

“If I can’t test the ash I’m never going to know either. At least this way I might get some closure,” Maggie said. “Please, Eliza.”

Maggie waited as she listened to Eliza’s deep sigh.

“Only if you promise to drop it if there isn’t definitive proof that it isn’t Alex,” Eliza said.

“Thank you,” Maggie said. 

“You know, I did mean what I said at her funeral. I know you weren’t married, but I will always consider you a daughter. I just want what’s best for you,” Eliza said.

“I know,” Maggie choked out. “I just have to know.”

“I know. You’re so much like… I’m sorry,” Eliza said. “Did you want to talk about anything else?”

“No, this was the only thing,” Maggie said. “Would it be alright if I drove up tonight?”

“Of course,” Eliza said. “I’ll have dinner ready when you get here.”

“Thank you,” Maggie said again. 

Saying her good byes and hanging up, Maggie let out tears she hadn’t even known she had been holding back.

She hated the way her tears were never under her control anymore. She had never liked crying, never liked the way it sapped her strength and exhausted her and sapped her rage into something quivering and easily dismissed, but before Alex had died she had been able to get it out of the way in private. It was something gross, a release of bodily fluids you could do before you slept so it wouldn’t happen during the day if you needed to expel the crushing sadness that sometimes threatened to overwhelm her. 

But after Alex, she could never cry when she thought about it. She just shut down. There was rage, no curling into a ball, no tears. Just an expanse of nothing, as if she had fallen through the ground into a palpable lack of anything: emotions, friends, goals. Simply an endless expanse.

It was no way to get to sleep. So, she drank. Not that that didn’t cause more problems than it solved, but she wasn’t going to stop being bullheaded now. 

To add insult to injury, she now cried in front of people. Cried where people could see her. Cried when she wasn’t even thinking about it, when she wasn’t even sad, a constant leaking wound she could never keep sown shut. It was humiliating as it was infuriating, as if the thing she had only ever shared with Alex, only ever could share with Alex now was stripped of that special status as one last cosmic joke on her pathetic existence. 

As her final shuddering breath’s came to a close during her thankfully private breakdown, she realized her shirt had gotten snot on it from her little pity party. Sighing, she dragged herself to the closet to select a new one and get on with her day. Just as Maggie had finally cleaned herself up from her night and from crying in her kitchen, she heard a knock. Frowning, she walked over and looked through the peephole to see Skelli standing in her hallway.

“Chief sent me to check on you since we both have a couple days of admin leave after yesterday,” Skelli said. “You headed out?”

“Yeah. Personal matter,” Maggie said coldly.

“Look, I know it’s weird that I’m here playing baby sitter, and it’s even weirder that it’s not official hours. But my kids are in school, I don’t want to be on the chief’s shit list, and we both know that being by yourself after an adrenaline high is the best way to relapse,” Skelli said.

“Look, I appreciate the AA pitch, but seriously, Skelli, I should be able to run some errands by myself without showing up to work drunk. I’m not even going into work today!” Maggie said in exasperation as she grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

“Can you at least tell me what you’re going out to do?” Skelli asked.

“I’m just checking out something from yesterday. It’s about Alex,” Maggie said, hoping Skelli wouldn’t ask further about it.

“So, just to clarify, you don’t need me to look out for you the day after a fire fight because you’re looking into the thing that sent you spiraling in the first place?” Skelli asked. “And I’m supposed to tell the chief that I just let you walk off on your own when he asked me to look out for you?”

“Fine, come along, if you want,” Maggie said through gritted teeth.

“Just trying to look out for the both of us, Sawyer,” Skelli said. 

“I’m driving,” Maggie said as she brushed past Skelli.

One awkward car ride later, Maggie was sifting through Alex’s file at the morgue.

“Mind telling me what you’re looking for?” Skelli asked. “Because the way I heard it, it was all pretty cut and dry. Terrorist raid gone wrong, body recovered by the FBI and Super Girl when they came in as back up. Did I miss something?”

“You know what organization killed Alex? Cadmus,” Maggie said. “Same people we raided last night. Same people using alien chemical compounds, cybernetics, and all kinds of ghoulish experimental tech. You ever heard of John Corben?”

“No. Should I?” Skelli asked.

“Probably. Hitman hired to kill Lena Luthor, almost killed Alex but then he got taken out, four bullets to the chest,” Maggie said.

“What does that have to do with yesterday’s raid?” Skelli asked.

“He died. Then he came back to life because CADMUS stole the body and resurrected him, Frankenstein style, with a kryptonite energy core. Eventually it went critical, but he was around and kicking for a lot longer than he should have been, considering he was dead,” Maggie said.

“You think they brought Alex back the same way,” Skelli said. 

“Maybe. I think that the fact that there’s a body missing from this morgue is pretty compelling,” Maggie said, pointing to a missing Jane Doe stolen the day after Alex died. “On the same day she was cremated.”

“What are you going off of?” Skelli asked.

“I saw something in that tunnel that I couldn’t put on an official report without getting asked to patrol a padded room. I saw her. She was the agent that got away,” Maggie said.

“At the risk of feeding this delusion, why would she work for CADMUS?” Skelli asked cautiously.

“I don’t think it’s her. When we were down there, I froze, but she looked right through me. No recognition. I think they stole her corpse and are using it for some reason,” Maggie said as she wrote down the names of everyone who handled either body.

“Assuming that’s even remotely possible, why would they do that? Why her, and not just use the Jane Doe’s body?” Skelli asked.

“I don’t know, but I have some guesses. The most probable is muscle memory and nervous system. Alex was an expert at like a billion things, so if they could bring her back from the dead it would be way easier to use the synapses she already had to make a deadly science experiment out of her than it would be to use a random corpse,” Maggie said. “It might not even be possible for it to learn any new skills. Also, Alex’s genetic code could possibly infiltrate bio locks at facilities that Cadmus is interested in. Hell, it could just be to mess with Supergirl, I don’t know.”

“So, this isn’t you hoping she’s still alive,” Skelli said.

“No. This is me hoping I can put her body to rest. I owe her that. More than that, really, but this is the only thing I can do,” Maggie said with a grim smile. “I think we need to ask some off the record questions, now. If that’s fine with you.”

“Of course. I can’t even imagine what this is like to go through,” Skelli said. “To have a friend come back to life like that…”

“Yeah,” Maggie said, unsure of what to say to Skelli’s sympathy. “First guy on the list is a Mr. Bearer.”

“Not that this isn’t something worthy of checking out, but isn’t this supposed to be a day off for you?” Skellli asked. “Because reviewing some files at the morgue is one thing, but conducting interviews is whole other kettle of fish for me to justify.”

“That’s an annoyingly good point,” Maggie said as she held back the urge to point out that if Skelli wasn’t there she could have just done the interview and taken the heat herself.

“I can call it in though? Let someone else ask the questions, then when we get back save ourselves the legwork?” Skelli said. 

“Yeah, that sounds reasonable,” Maggie said as she let out a huff of air.

“Just give me a minute to copy down the names and I’ll hand it off to Jim, he owes me for a pair of Lakers tickets I got him,” Skelli said.

After Skelli stepped outside for the phone call, Maggie couldn’t stop her mind from racing as she looked at Alex’s name on the crematorium list. She felt something in her chest start to tear from strain as she thought about how Alex’s memory was being turned into some kind of monstrosity. She had to brace herself against the counter as she felt herself go weak in the knees at the thought of Alex lying on the cold warehouse floor, bleeding out only to be turned into something to hurt Kara.

“Hey, are you all right?” Skelli asked as she tapped Maggie’s arm. 

“Yeah, sorry, just looking at this record,” Maggie said.

“Your eyes were glazed over,” Skelli said.

“It’s not exactly light reading material,” Maggie said.

“Would you want to do something actually relaxing then, considering you’ve gotten what you came for?” Skelli asked.

“That might not be the worst idea ever,” Maggie said. 

“You want to see an R-rated movie?” Skelli asked.

“Sure, let’s get some 2-liters from the grocery store and stay up too late,” Maggie said.

“Ha ha. But seriously, when you have kids, the number of not kid appropriate movies you see a year goes way down,” Skelli said.

Maggie felt a strange twist of loneliness and fear in her stomach that she thought about life with kids. The half a hundred times a day Skelli mentioned kids, and this was the stupid comment that made Maggie think about a life she could have had.

“Sounds miserable,” Maggie said with a half frown. “I don’t even know what’s out. Want to just go and see what we find?”

“Sure,” Skelli said.

The pair ended up watching some stupid spy flick Maggie suspected was deeply unrealistic. As she let her mind wander, Maggie couldn’t help but feel a sense of urgency, a rush to feel any kind of finality about Alex. Her mind was whirring with possibilities as she squirmed in her seat, the dull sound of explosions and screams barely registering with her as she tried to control the itch to do something if only because there was nothing that could be done until later.

By the time the credits rolled, Maggie felt an almost palpable need to move.

“So, I told my husband that I was going to pick my kids up from school today. Would you mind helping me out? Maybe hanging out with me my kids for a bit,” Skelli asked as they walked out through the lobby. 

“Not a big fan of kids,” Maggie said tightly. 

“Really? Because it always seems like you had a constant string of strays following you around the precinct,” Skelli said. 

“That’s for my job,” Maggie said as she felt her ire start to rise. 

“It’s not really in your job description to go as far as you do. Didn’t you let that kid Steven stay at your house for like a month before he turned 18?” Skelli asked.

“Stephanie. And that was just paying it forward. Giving someone a chance at a life I didn’t get to have. And it is in the job to protect and serve, and those kids need someone to protect them. It’s professional interest, nothing more,” Maggie said. “Not every woman has a maternal instinct, you know.”

“Uh-huh,” Skelli said. 

“What do you mean ‘uh-huh?’” Maggie asked.

“It’s just that paying it forward, giving someone else the opportunities you didn’t have and protectiveness pretty much is the maternal instinct in a nutshell,” Skelli said.

“I’ll drop you back at your car,” Maggie said. “I should be taking off for Midvale if I don’t want to get stuck in rush hour on the way out.”

“All right. Just something for you to think about. I didn’t mean anything by it,” Skelli said. 

An hour later, Maggie chucked her leather travel bag into the backseat. Pulling out into the street, she settled into the tedious 3-hour car ride. 

As she rolled down the freeway, Maggie couldn’t help but feel the nervous energy from the theatre return. Tapping a rhythm on the steering wheel seemed to help, as did turning on the radio. But the pressure kept building inside of her chest, in her twitching limbs. Her head felt fuzzy until she pulled over to the side of the highway, slowly rolling to stop. 

Maggie let loose a feral scream. She slammed her hand into the steering wheel in frustration until she found herself collapsing onto it. Over the sound of the Rolling Stones Maggie heard a woman sobbing, only to realize that she was the one crying. She lay almost boneless over the wheel, the pent-up emotions of the last two days spilling out of her in hot streaks from her eyes. 

When she finally felt herself come down from her outburst, Maggie pulled out her parking spot and headed North along the California Coast.

Maggie felt a tug in her chest as soon as she pulled into the driveway of Alex’s childhood home. Pulling her key from the ignition, Maggie couldn’t help the small smile that crossed her lips despite her mood as she saw Eliza come out of the house wiping her hands on an apron.

“Maggie,” Eliza said as she pulled the smaller woman into a warm hug. 

“Eliza,” Maggie said as she relaxed into the embrace.

“Come on in, I’m just finishing up dinner,” Eliza said as she guided Maggie into the house.

Maggie took in the warmth of the cozy home and the hot meal. It was the first time in months that she could actually taste the food she was putting in her mouth. Maggie felt the warmth settle in her stomach as Eliza asked about her life, avoiding many of the probing questions which seemed to make up Maggie’s social interactions as of late. It felt almost homely.

After the meal, Eliza moved Maggie to couch with a glass of wine for them both. Maggie knew that however gently Eliza was going to try to do this, it was going to be painful for both of them.

“So, about what you came here for,” Eliza said. “I’m not going to stop you, but I am going to need more of an explanation.”

“I was involved in a raid on a Cadmus lab. During the course of pursuing a female Cadmus agent, I saw her face. I saw Alex’s face,” Maggie said. “I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since.”

“And you’re sure that it wasn’t your eyes playing tricks on you?” Eliza asked.

“I’m positive. Her hair was different, shaved on the sides, and she was missing her left arm, but yeah, it was her,” Maggie said.

“Her arm?” Eliza asked.

“It had been replaced with a robotic prosthetic that looked like a silver skeletal hand,” Maggie said. “I don’t know why Cadmus would have removed her hand when they brought her back though.”

“It was severed in the bombing by a piece of shrapnel,” Eliza said tiredly. “But Maggie, she’s gone.”

“Maybe. Cadmus has brought people back from the dead before, not just your husband. Are you familiar with a man Kara fought named John Corben?” 

“Yes, I’m familiar with Metallo, and yes, I know he was declared legally dead. But that was a mistake by the coroner, not that Cadmus has the power over life and death,” Eliza said.

“Exactly. A mistake by the coroner. Did you know that a woman’s body went missing the day Alex was cremated at the same morgue? And no police report was ever filed for it?” Maggie said.

“That’s… admittedly strange,” Eliza said with a frown.

“I know Alex isn’t back. When I saw whatever Cadmus made, it looked right through me. No recognition,” Maggie said. “But I know her face. Cadmus has done something to her body. She deserves better than that.”

“Maybe,” Eliza said. “Would you mind indulging an old woman in a story?”

“Of course,” Maggie said as she let out breath.

“I never told the girls this, I couldn’t when it happened, and later, it would have just stirred up old memories. Back when Jeremiah first went missing, after a few months I stopped sleeping. I was barely getting an hour a night. I’m sure you know that long term sleep deprivation can have some pretty intense side effects,” Eliza said.

“I’m aware,” Maggie said.

“I became convinced that a man who worked at our supermarket was Jeremiah, that he just couldn’t remember who he was. It didn’t make any sense in retrospect, but I spent hours stalking him, trying to figure out how I could get him to remember. I finally got my wake-up call weeks later when I realized I’d left Alex and Kara at school for hours. Alex chewed me out of course, she had every right to,” Eliza said.

“I think I can guess the moral of this story,” Maggie said.

“The moral is that you don’t know always know when your mind is failing you. Sometimes you have to trust the people around you to let you know when you’ve gone too far,” Eliza said gently. 

“I’m just following the evidence. Something is not right here, Eliza,” Maggie said. 

“Nothing’s been right since she’s been gone,” Eliza said quietly.

Maggie felt herself deflate as Eliza pulled her into a gentle embrace. She let her head on Eliza’s shoulder as she tried to focus on the warmth of the woman holding her and not the cold grip held on her heart by the woman she’d lost. As they cleaned up dinner, Maggie felt the rock that had been in her stomach the past six months return to her abdomen. The fog that seemed to cling to her thoughts returned, coloring everything with a grey haze.

“Hey, I don’t know if you want to be alone right now or not, but if you feel like it I have a couple of cartons of Cherry Garcia if you want to watch a stupid life time movie with me?” Eliza asked.

“That was her favorite flavor,” Maggie said quietly.

“Yeah,” Eliza said.

“I think I’d like that,” Maggie said, pushing past the lump in her throat. 

Maggie fell asleep curled in a blanket on the couch as the TV played softly in the background. Eliza pet Maggie’s hair as she turned down the volume on the tv to nothing before she shifted a pillow under Maggie’s head. Pulling the blanket down to cover the younger woman’s feet, Eliza took a moment to smile at her before she tossed the empty cartons of ice cream into the trash and heading upstairs herself.


	3. Abbra Cadvera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some stuff happens

As Maggie drove back through the early morning fog, she spared a glance over at the simple carboard box which housed the urn she had received from Eliza. Maggie couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable in the presence of something that could easily turn out to be a stranger’s remains sitting next to her in an urn that had Alex’s name inscribed on it. Stranger still was the idea of a person she had loved being reduced to the contents of a 1-foot cube cardboard box. 

Shrugging her shoulders, Maggie forced her thoughts back to the road. 

When she walked into the police station to drop off the remains for testing, she was greeted by the unwelcome sight of her captain and Skelli waiting for her.

“Skelli, I thought you had the day off,” Maggie said.

“You do too,” her captain said.

“I was just going to drop this off at the lab, see if I couldn’t turn in a favor with Pablo to get this tested on his private time,” Maggie said cautiously. 

“Let me guess- those are the remains of your fiancée?” Her captain said. 

“I hope so,” Maggie said as a flare of anger shot through her as she realized what this was.

“Look, you know what I’m going to say here,” her Captain said. 

“You traitorous rat bastard!” Maggie spat at Skelli, who at least had the decency to look guilty as she avoided eye contact.

“Don’t blame Skelli for doing what I asked her too. Did you think that she wouldn’t notice that you’re flying off the rails already?” her captain said. “Really, what the hell are you thinking Sawyer?”

“I’m thinking that something seemed off about the morgue records, that a terrorist organization might have a new weapon, and that my instincts are telling me that something doesn’t add up,” Maggie said.

“Kid, do you not get it? You don’t have instincts with this. You have wishful thinking that’s putting you down a dark road, and if you value your career here at all, you’ll take this as a wake-up call,” her captain said. “You’re staying on unpaid leave with mandatory psychological analysis until you drop this and the shrinks say you’re not going to fly off the handle like this again.”

“Sir,” Maggie said. “With all due respect, I’m pursuing this on my own private time, using my own resources, and it has yet to impact my job in any way. You can’t seriously think that this decision is going to fly with the union.”

“Cut the crap, Sawyer. We both know you don’t have any pull with the union,” her captain shouted. “I’m the only reason you still have a job. My word here is law. When I say take a hike? You ask which direction. Are we clear?” 

“Yes sir,” Maggie said, gritting her teeth.

“Good. If you get started now, you might be cleared before your administrative leave is over. Who knows,” He said gruffly. “You have an appointment with Schelling this afternoon. Don’t miss it.”

“Of course,” Maggie said as she stared daggers at Skelli.

“Now go home and cool off,” He said as he walked away.

Maggie turned around and stormed towards the door as Skelli chased after her.

“Listen, Sawyer, don’t walk away mad,” Skelli said. 

“I’m walking away quickly,” Maggie growled as she slammed her back into the door as she refused to look at Skelli. 

“Look, I was just looking out for you,” Skelli said. “You could use a friend.”

“With a friend like you I don’t need enemies,” Maggie said as she walked back across the lot.

“I had to tell, him, Maggie. It was my job,” Skelli said.

“No, it was your job to see that I wasn’t falling off the wagon. Following a couple of leads is not falling off the wagon. This is why I hate partners,” Maggie said. “Just let me get my damn answers in peace.”

“Where are you going?” Skelli asked as Maggie got back into her car.

“You heard the captain,” Maggie said. 

She left out that while they had both heard the captain, he couldn’t exactly stop her from paying to have the remains tested herself. She would have results one way or another in 24 hours, which put her in a good deal better mood as she sat through another evaluation where her recent history with alcohol was picked apart yet again by a departmental shrink. Even while she had her fourteenth talk about how to manage her stressors, her mind stayed with the idea that the test results would come back in a few short hours.

When she finally did get back to her apartment to spritz her bonsai trees, she realized that she still had most of her evening free. Maggie tried to think of some lead to follow while the DNA test results came in, but short of trolling for answers at the alien bar Maggie didn’t know of anything else to do without any departmental resources. Just as she was considering grabbing her leather jacket to see what information she could find out from shaking down Ryan, she heard a knock at the door.

Checking the peephole, she opened the door with a confused look on her face.

“Kara?” Maggie asked. 

“Hey. I brought pizza with like, three types of toppings, since I don’t know what you like,” Kara said sheepishly as she held two large boxes in front of her.

“Thanks, but I guess I’m a little confused? Did we set up a thing I forgot about?” Maggie asked. 

“Oh, no, and I’m totally sorry if you have plans or anything. I just wanted to give you an update on a couple of new Cadmus agents that have popped up from the DEO and it was dinner time so I figured I’d bring you pizza,” Kara said.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the intel, but I’m a bit curious as to why you’re giving this to me now, in person,” Maggie asked as she eyed a third box Kara had stacked on top of the pizza. “With tiramisu.”

“Because I heard about what happened with your captain from Winn and I wanted to give you something to do. That always helped Alex when she was going through something like this,” Kara said as she looked at her hands. “Especially given that you don’t seem to be doing so well.”

“I’m fine,” Maggie said. “Look, this whole situation sucks. You know what isn’t going to make it better? Pretending I’m a replacement Alex you can give food to any time you need to feel less guilty.”

“I’m trying to be nice,” Kara said, her eyebrows knitting together in annoyance. 

“I didn’t tell Winn anything about what happened today yet,” Maggie said in annoyance as she crossed her arms. “I know you were listening in on me.”

“Oh,” Kara said as a guilty look fell over her face. 

“Despite what you, and my captain, and Skelli and everyone else thinks, I’m not some fragile baby you have to look after,” Maggie said. “You think you’re helping me by spying on me? By bringing me food? You think this makes up for all your unresolved baggage with Alex? It doesn’t, and you should stop trying to make it that way.”

“And lashing out at me isn’t going to change the fact that you broke up with her,” Kara spat back.

They held each other’s glares for a half a second before they both reacted to a loud thump. Looking down, they both realized that Kara had unconsciously balled her hands into fists, crushing through the pizza boxes and detaching the part she was holding from the rest of the box.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” Kara started in an embarrassed tone.

“Get out,” Maggie growled, unable to parse any of Kara’s words through the ringing in her ears.

“I’m sorry, I can clean it up-” Kara started.

“Just get out,” Maggie said in frustration, practically chasing Kara out of her apartment.

“Alright, I’m sorry, that wasn’t an ok thing to say-” Kara got out before Maggie slammed the door in her face.

After she threw the ruined pizza in the trash, she ate a piece of the tiramisu messily. Throwing it hap hazardously into her mostly empty fridge, Maggie laced up her black combat boots. Downing two shots and tossing on her leather jacket, she stormed back out the door towards the Alien bar.

As she walked through the door of the bar, Maggie felt the warm fire of the alcohol warm her stomach. The familiar heat and sting in her throat cut through the static she felt jumping over her skin, letting her focus on the target of her investigative ire. 

“Ryan,” Maggie said, as she sidled up to her favorite confidential informant.

“Hey, Maggie, just the person I wanted to see,” Ryan said nervously. “Can I buy you a drink?”

Maggie simply raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve been keeping my nose clean, just like you said I should. Haven’t spoken to any of those people who would drag me back into that criminal life style, I’ve really turned my life around thanks to you,” Ryan said. 

“You’re frills are turning red,” Maggie said simply, causing Ryan to slap at his neck.

“It’s hot in here. I have a date. I’m just, uh, increased blood flow. From how handsome you are?” Ryan stated.

“Spill,” Maggie said coldly.

“Look, I can’t. You know I would if I could, these aren’t good people here. They deserve whatever DEO sized hammer you drop on them. But you can’t exactly expect me believe you can offer protection,” Ryan hissed. 

“You’re worried about Cadmus, Ryan?” Maggie asked. “You should be worried about me.”

“Look, I know you’re on the warpath here, but I also know the worst thing you can do to me is throw me in a cell. Cadmus, and my employers, are happy blowing me up,” Ryan muttered. 

“I can’t throw you in jail. I was suspended today for looking into Alex’s murder and potential body theft,” Maggie said.

“Oh,” Ryan said as his gills drained of their red color.

“So unless you want an alcoholic cop with nothing to lose to ask you not so nicely about what you know about my fiancée’s disappearance, I would stop giving me bread crumbs and hand me the fucking loaf,” Maggie said. 

“Ok! Ok! Jeez. There’s a guy I know, goes by the name Crowley. Real mercenary type, works for anyone as long as the check clears,” Ryan said. “He’s not into your typical mercenary services though.”

“What’s he good at?” Maggie asked.

“Making people disappear. One day they’re there, the next they’re not, and no one ever looks for them,” Ryan says.

“Why’s that?” Maggie asked.

“Because there’s always a death certificate, so no one goes looking. But I’ve heard rumors that he doesn’t bump them off, he just delivers them to whoever paid him,” Ryan said. 

“Where do I find him?” Maggie asked.

“So there’s an issue there. Crowley got disappeared himself a while back. No one knows what happened. Scuttlebutt is that he disappeared the wrong person and someone didn’t want loose ends,” Ryan said. 

“Or someone wanted to know how he pulled his little disappearing acts,” Maggie muttered under her breath. “You know any of his friends?”

“He wasn’t really the kind of guy to have friends,” Ryan said. 

“Great. How did people get in contact with him then?” Maggie asked. 

“There was a number you texted. If he thought you were legit, you dead dropped cash and a location of where you wanted the person, and then a week or so later you got a call and there they were,” Ryan said. “I never used that particular service because I don’t have that kind of money and I don’t want to get into that kind of mess.”

Maggie thought for a minute.

“Do you know what kind of species this Crowley was?” Maggie asked. 

“No. I just know he was big and tall and wore a trenchcoat, and that’s just hearsay,” Ryan said. 

“Great,” Maggie said. “Has anyone ever gotten away after they were abducted?” 

“There was one, which is the only reason anyone knows anything about this guy. But she went underground, there’s no way you’ll be able to find her now. She has a year head start on you,” Ryan said. 

“What’s her name?” Maggie asked.

“She told me her name was Doreen, but I don’t think it was her real name. She had information that the National City Syndicate wanted about where to find an enforcer for the Irish. They thought she was the enforcer’s girl and not the enforcer, and someone left a scalpel a little too close to her when they were asking her questions,” Ryan said. 

“Did she go back to the Irish?” Maggie asked.

Ryan shook his head.

“They didn’t trust her anymore, not after she was gone for so long and was declared dead,” he said.

“So why did she tell all of you this?” Maggie asked.

“I uh, hear things,” Ryan said, his gills turning red again. “You know, after I get ‘em relaxed and chatty.”

“So if you were sleeping with her, you must have some idea of where she would have gone,” Maggie guessed.

“It was just a one night stand before she left the city!” Ryan said defensively. “I hate that mind reading power you have!”

“When?” Maggie asked.

“September 11. I only remember because there was a memorial service on the tv and it was my opening line,” Ryan said.

“And that worked? Never mind,” Maggie said as she shook her head. “You know how she was leaving town?”

“Nope,” Ryan said.

“And you haven’t contacted her since?” Maggie asked.

“Nope,” Ryan said. 

“Alright. Well, tell me if you remember anything else,” Maggie said, throwing down a few rumpled twenties from her jacket pocket.

“That was worth way more than 60 bucks,” Ryan said.

“You know the rules. Vague, unverifiable information isn’t going to cut it,” Maggie said as she walked out.

Once in the alley, she pulled out her phone.

“Winn? It’s me. Yes, I’m fine. I need you to trace a phone number for me registered to a Ryan Dexpittlebix for any recurring personal phone numbers starting on September 11 of last year,” Alex said. 

Ten minutes later, Maggie had a list of addresses in front of her, several of which were easy enough to dismiss as take out places. One address in particular jumped out at her. It was a half an hour outside of town in a supposedly unoccupied house on the market for 10 percent over the median and when Maggie tried to call the listed agent, she got a disconnected signal.

Smiling to herself, Maggie shook out her arms and legs before hopping on her motorcycle, enjoying the throaty rumble of the engine as she sped out of town. Within minutes she was on the mess of National City’s freeways, cruising her way through traffic on her much more maneuverable bike. As the wind whipped around her, Maggie felt the stress of the last few days melt away in favor of the easy power of the bike.

Turning off to pull under an overpass as she switched freeways and pulling to a stop at a light, Maggie was startled by a half second siren off to her right. Maggie noticed the crown royal police car she had noticed a few miles back roll its window down next to her as an officer she recognized leaned out the window.

Maggie narrowed her eyes at the sight of Officer Bugle.

“Hey, Miss, you didn’t signal properly for that vehicle. I’m going to have to pull you over and ask you for your license,” Bugle said before he gave her a leering once over. “Unless you can convince me that maybe you do know how to signal, and just got turned around.”

Maggie considered her options. While it would certainly be easy to simply flip her visor up and humiliate him and forward the incident to IA, but that would raise a lot of questions she didn’t want to answer as to what she was doing late at night running down a lead on a case she had been banned from. On top of that, at this point it was only her word against Bugle’s. Maggie frowned under her helmet.

“The silent type, huh? You don’t have to talk, it’s alright,” Bugle said with a wink.

Maggie wished she could have blamed what happened next on anything other than pure, petty anger and revenge. 

Maggie Revved the throttle for everything it was worth, and the bike blew past the stopped police car in seconds, already accelerating to freeway speeds before it was halfway up the on ramp. Reacting precious seconds later, Bugle hit the siren and stepped on the gas as Maggie was already flying onto the freeway going 80 miles an hour and climbing. 

With a glance over her shoulder, Maggie saw that all 5 lanes between her and the median were free of traffic. Flying across the lanes of the freeway even as she slowed down, Maggie hit the brakes before she dipped her bike off the road and down into the grassy divider. Ducking down beneath the level of the road, Maggie listened as the siren of Bugle’s car came up seconds later, blaring down the highway as his car finally got up to it’s top speed. Counting out ten seconds after the car passed, Maggie pulled her bike back up onto the road, pulling off on the next exit as she watched Bugle’s car fly down the highway at over a hundred miles an hour, not doubt calling in roadblocks for the next five miles. 

Maggie felt exhilarated in a way she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Not even a fire fight had held this kind of triumphant adrenaline rush. Nearly giggling to herself, Maggie let herself smile as she continued on her route towards the former enforcer.

After a few minutes of cruising towards her location, Maggie couldn’t help but look behind her for pursuers. As the adrenaline wore off, Maggie felt a lead weight sink in her stomach as she realized how poorly thought out her actions were if anyone ever found out who it was driving the motorcycle. She rolled her shoulders, trying to not think of the thousands of ways that something could be tied back to her: a traffic camera she hadn’t noticed, Bugle’s car cam catching her license plate, hell, even Bugle himself taking the time to actually look at her license plate before he tried to pull his little stunt. 

Maggie resolved to open an investigation into Bugle for abusing his power, not only for his likely victims, but because she could think of no other way to preempt this incident being tied back to her by Bugle. Maggie cursed herself for her carelessness, unable to shake the feeling of paranoia the entire way over to the quiet, slightly rundown house in the nondescript suburb.

Pulling up to the curb, Maggie wondered how she could possibly approach an enforcer for the mob who was expecting a price to be on her head. Pulling out her badge, Maggie tucked it into her belt before she walked up to the front door. As she was about to knock, she froze at the sound of a hammer being cocked into position. 

“If you value those Maybelline locks staying the way they are, I would put my hands up if I was you,” a voice said to Maggie’s right. “Who sent you?”

Raising her hands Maggie kept her breath steady.

“No one. I work for the NCPD, but I’m not here to arrest you. I need answers,” Maggie said.

“And why should I help a cop?” the woman asked.

“Because you’ll have someone who you can call if you ever need a cop who can go after your former employers, no questions asked. Because I want to track down the man who abducted you. And because I know about Ryan,” Maggie said.

“He ratted me out?” the woman asked. Maggie was surprised by the sincere betrayal in her voice.

“I traced his cell phone calls. Ryan’s not great at hiding his feelings, which is half of why he’s my best CI,” Maggie said.

“The stupid bastard never could keep things to himself,” She said with a warmth Maggie wasn’t expecting. “Toss me the badge, real slow.”

Maggie did so, keeping her movements calm and fluid as she turned to get her first good look of who she was dealing with. The woman seemed almost unremarkable except for her obviously high level of fitness and a disfiguring scar that ran from the top of her scalp across her face to just above her jugular vein. Maggie could tell exactly where the scar stopped in her hair by the shift in the grain of the thin blond mop, the skin having healed crookedly from the lack of proper medical attention it had likely received. 

“Well, Detective Sawyer, would you care to step inside my humble abode?” the woman asked.

“Can I at least have a name?” Maggie asked. 

“O’Death,” the woman said. “Now move before someone sees.”

Walking into the house, Maggie noticed the false paneling covering several of the walls creating the illusion of a complete interior from the outside. As she was led past them to a smaller room, Maggie noted the rather stark surroundings. 

“I thought my place wasn’t homey,” Maggie said as she sat down on the single chair in the small room, the former enforcer sitting on a small cot across from her. 

“Your definition of homey changes after you get taken away,” the woman said. “Now, what do you want to know about the asshole that did it?”

“Everything. Start from the top,” Maggie said. 

“Well, there’s not too much tell, I’m afraid. Not that I remember much. I put the key in my apartment door, feel someone grab my arm and then I feel a little tug,” She said as she rolled up her sleeve to reveal a long, thin scar from the base of her thumb to the middle of her forearm. “Never even felt the razor until I felt the blood gushing down my hand. Then he just kept me in a bear hug. Strong bastard.”

“So then what?” Maggie asked. 

“Then I bled out, near as I can tell. I passed out after a minute. Ryan told me after he saw my name in the obituaries the next day, ruled a suicide and everything,” She said. 

“You’re doing pretty well for a dead woman,” Maggie said. 

“Thanks to those syndicate bastards, I was playing under par for a while, after I woke up,” She said. “Being dead doesn’t usually hurt so much, I’m told.”

“You could remember everything though? About who you were?” Maggie asked. 

“Oh, my head was right as rain, till they started taking cracks at it,” she said. 

“What happened immediately before you passed out?” Maggie asked. 

“Like I said, he just bear hugged me,” She said. 

“Did he inject you with anything?” Maggie asked.

“No, just kept me in a big slimy hug,” the woman said in exasperation.

“Slimy?” Maggie asked. 

“Yeah, had like, rain on him or something,” She said. 

“Was it raining that night?” Maggie asked.

“Actually, no, now that you mention it,” the woman said. “I was a bit preoccupied with dying.”

“Could I convince you to give me a blood sample?” Maggie asked. 

“I don’t exactly have any syringes handy, and after this you’re not going to see hide nor hair of me again. If you found me, someone else could find me just as easy,” She said. 

“I have an evidence vial, if you don’t mind a small cut,” Maggie said. 

“Fine, but give me the knife,” the enforcer said after a moment.

After collecting the evidence, Maggie had one last thought.

“The clothes you were wearing that night, did you burn them?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah. Torn to shreds and covered in evidence,” She said. “Why?”

“I think he might have used some chemical agent through his skin that kept you alive when you bled out, leading the ME to declare you dead. Then I think he stole you from the morgue before you were cremated and delivered you to the syndicate. What was the apartment number where it happened?” Maggie asked.

“223 Gales street, number 8. Anything in it is going to have been thrown out though,” the woman said. 

“Not the carpet where he was standing. Was it the kind of the place that would change the carpets in a year?” Maggie asked. 

“It was the kind of place where you’d get DNA samples from last century,” the woman said.

“I’ll, uh, use gloves,” Maggie muttered. “Thank you for all of your help.”

“Make the bastards pay, yeah? That’s the only thanks I need,” the Woman said. “Now get out, I have to pack.”


	4. Hot Cop Cup of Coffin

Checking her phone, Maggie realized how late it had gotten.

Shrugging, she decided caffeine was the only solution. 

Maggie grabbed a cup of coffee on the way from the former enforcer’s apartment, sipping it while discretely checking that there were no camera’s or people to record her movements. Seeing that the coast was clear, she walked swiftly in through a propped open fire door to the apartment. Snapping open her knife, Maggie quickly cut and rolled up a four-foot by four-foot section of old carpet in front of apartment 8. As she walked out the back door to her bike, she shoved the carpet roll into her backpack before she took off with her bike towards the DEO.

Minutes later, she was sitting by the front desk. Upon spying Winn walking in the front door, she couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“Scully, you’re not going to believe this,” Maggie said as she thrust the carpet towards Winn.

“That is a carpet. Wait, why am I Scully?” Winn asked as he signed them both in to the DEO.

“It’s a carpet with alien gunk on it,” Maggie said. 

“Ok, you’re wrong, I do believe it, because I think that carpet has every gunk known to man on it,” Winn said as he backed away from Maggie’s offering. “And several that aren’t.”

“Exactly. But this was the carpet that was part of an abduction by an alien who released some kind of slimy substance from his body,” Maggie said.

“An Alien Abduction?” Winn asked. “Is that the reason for the X-files reference? Because I think we really got away from the fact that as a former conspiracy theorist, I really think that I should be the Mulder in that analogy-”

“An abduction by an Alien working for the mob,” Maggie said. “But that’s not the important part. Do you see this big dark patch?”

“It’s kind of hard to miss,” Winn said. 

“That’s blood. This woman bled to death and was taken to the morgue. There was even an obituary,” Maggie said.

“Is it really an abduction if the person just straight up murders you?” Winn wondered.

“It is if you wake up later despite being pronounced dead by massive blood loss, then yes,” Maggie said. “I had a conversation with the woman who lost all of this blood.”

“So we’re looking for a vampire?” Winn asked.

“No. He used a razor blade. But what I think happened is that there is, or possibly was, an alien abductor named Crowley who emits some kind of chemical through his skin that allows a person to survive massive blood loss, at least temporarily,” Maggie said. 

“And you think that carpet sample has trace amounts of that chemical still?” Winn asked.

“Yes, and this seemed solidly in the DEO’s jurisdiction, so I thought I’d hand it off to you,” Maggie said.

“And it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re technically suspended from work and more specifically, this case, because the only reason you found out about this is because you were looking into what you think you saw at the warehouse,” Winn said.

“Look, do you want to do your job or not? I’ve done all the legwork, I’m just asking for you to get this to someone with a couple doctorates to run a check through the codex of species I know you have here to see if there are any matches,” Maggie said. “Besides, if I’m right, Cadmus has this ability now. Wouldn’t it be prudent to at least check it out?”

Winn made a face. 

“If you admit that I work better as Mulder,” Winn said quietly.

“Fine, no one would take you seriously without me. Happy?” Maggie said.

“Ok, that’s not a very charitable interpretation-” Winn started before Maggie raised an eyebrow.

“Ok, ok, I’ll take it to the lab,” Winn said. 

“I’m glad I didn’t throw you in jail,” Maggie said.

“You did throw me in jail!” Winn said indignantly.

“I meant for a long time,” Maggie said.

“You know, sometimes I wonder why we’re friends,” Winn muttered as he took the carpet from Maggie while trying to touch the smallest amount of surface area possible. 

After losing almost three hours to traffic to and from her precinct to complete her grief counseling session for the day, Maggie was finally able to get back to the morgue to check to see who was employed by the morgue as well as how Crowley could have switched the bodies. After she quickly took several photos of the employee roster, she had a brief conversation with one of the orderlies about the complete procedure for disposing of a body, and the relative difficulty of stealing a body without anyone noticing.

“What if they were switched out right before cremation?” Maggie asked. 

“I suppose that might not be detected,” the man admitted. “But it would have to be someone working here, and I know it wasn’t anyone of them.”

Maggie thanked the man while making a mental note to run financial checks on everyone on the roster. As she went through a map of the building to trace the exact routes of Alex and the woman Maggie suspected had been swapped with her, she got a text from the DNA place that the results from the urn were ready. Half an hour of lane splitting through the start of rush hour traffic brought Maggie to the clinical building.

“Ok, so I just want to go over the results with you really quick if that’s ok,” the tech said as he slid the urn and a pile of papers at her. “So, there was actually a surprising amount of DNA left behind here. We have three different matches here: we have Alex’s DNA we got off of several small bone chips, so these are definitely her ashes. However, there were also two other sets of DNA that we got a match on, another woman’s and a man’s. Likely, these are just the morgue workers who handled Alex, this is a relatively common.”

“Another woman?” Maggie asked, pulling out her phone.

“Yes, or at least someone with two X chromosomes, I suppose,” the man said with a small frown. “I guess that doesn’t always indicate-”

“Only men work at that morgue except for the receptionist, and she doesn’t handle any of the bodies,” Maggie said.

The man’s eyebrows shot up.

“That’s fishy, then. Are you filing a legal case for being returned the wrong remains? Because I think you might have a shot with that kind of evidence,” the tech said. 

“You could say I’m looking to settle out of court,” Maggie said. “You have anything else about the woman in here?”

“Not much, just that she’s probably white,” the man said.

“How probably? Probably enough that it would be reasonable to conclude it was the same woman who went missing from that morgue on the same day if she was white?” Maggie asked. 

“Yeah, I’d say so,” the tech said. “It wouldn’t be iron clad or anything, but circumstantially I think it’s definitely a piece of the puzzle.”

“Great. Thank you,” Maggie said as she scooped up the urn and papers before heading back out the door.

Maggie spent her evening looking through the financial histories of the men working at the morgue, searching for discrepancies as she shoveled cold Chinese food into her mouth. By the time she curled up to fall asleep on the couch, she had several solid leads into the personnel side of the case, with the low number of workers making her job fairly easy. 

As she drifted off, she finally felt like she was moving forward.

That night she dreamed of Alex. 

She dreamed of Alex’s body being zipped up into a body bag, her skin cold and clammy and lacking all of the life she seemed to ooze when she had been Maggie’s. Maggie saw Alex’s corpse thrown bodily into the back of a black van like refuse, and she couldn’t help 

Alex, alone, scared, waking up on a steel slab only to realize that she was in Cadmus’ clutches. Her eyes flew open, impossibly, and Maggie could see her mouthing words even as no sound came out. Maggie was frozen to the spot as she saw Lillian Luthor walk out of the darkness at the periphery of her vision, into the blinding fluorescent light shining on Alex’s naked, pale form. 

“Hello, Mija,” Lillian said to Alex as she snapped on latex gloves. “How was your day?”

Maggie tried to scream at her, to rush to Alex’s side and defend her from Lillian. But nothing came out of her mouth, and she could barely move her arms, let alone run towards Alex and defend her. Maggie tried to will herself towards the slab, towards Alex, only to be forced to watch as Lillian calmly assembled a terrifying array of cutting instruments on a stainless-steel tray next to her. Maggie screamed silently when Lillian petted a clearly terrified Alex’s head with all the warmth of a snake.

“I know your father is mad, cariño. What did you expect? How can he not be mad?” Lillian said as she moved to pick up an electric saw. “We’ll just have to cut it out of you.”

Maggie didn’t hear any more words over the loud whine of the saw as it descended towards Alex’s arm in extreme slow motion. Maggie felt like she was being physically thrown around by the rumble of the saw, seconds before she saw the blade hit Alex’s arm in a spray of blood. 

Maggie snapped awake screaming, a blond face suddenly very much in range of her ability to stop her from hurting Alex. Throwing two hard lefts as she tried to grapple with the woman, she stopped herself from throwing a third as she finally recognized Kara.

Immediately dropping Kara’s lapel and staggering backwards, Maggie’s living room came back to her in a rush as the last fog of sleep lifted from her vision.

“Kara, what are you- are you ok?” Maggie asked, anxiously checking Kara’s face for bruises where she had hit her.

“Maggie, Kryptonian, remember?” Kara said, pointing to herself.

“Right,” Maggie said, allowing herself to catch a breath as she realized she couldn’t have possibly hurt her could-have-been sister-in-law. 

“Are you ok? You woke up screaming Alex’s name, and you slept in your clothes, and your living room is a mess. Maggie, you can’t start drinking again, I’m sorry, I was wrong, just don’t start drinking because of me, it isn’t worth it, I was just, I brought coffee if you need it? Or water, or sunglasses,” Kara said.

“Kara, I’m fine, I was just catching up on some of the more boring sides of good police work,” Maggie said. “I fell asleep because I was tired. I’m not drinking again. I just had a rough night.”

“Oh,” Kara said before sheepishly holding out a coffee cup in front herself. “Do you want the coffee anyway?”

“Yeah, I think I could use some,” Maggie said, groggily reaching out with her left hand only to watch the coffee cup slip through it and splash onto the floor.

“Maggie!” Kara said.

“Oh. Fuck,” Maggie said as she looked down at her completely numb hand, already swelling and turning an angry purple. “I think I just thought of a way to make up for the B and E.”

Minutes later, Kara and Maggie were sitting in the emergency room intake with a large ice pack gingerly placed on her hand.

“So, I know this isn’t like, ideal or anything, but we could talk about what you were dreaming about? Or our last conversation?” Kara asked. 

“Fine. I’ll go first. I’m sorry for being a jerk about you trying to help me. I maintain that you crossed several boundaries that I feel like I’ve been pretty clear on, and I’m still mad about that, but I shouldn’t have gone after you the way that I did,” Maggie said.

“Thank you. I’m sorry I let my own fear ignore the best way to actually help you, and I’m going to stop myself when I do something that I feel like is for you and ask if I’m actually doing it for me,” Kara said.

“Thank you. I know you mean well, Kara,” Maggie said sadly. 

“I know. It can be hard to think clearly about how to help you sometimes, because when I think of you I just automatically think of Alex. I just miss her,” Kara said, sinking lower in her chair.

“Yeah. Me too kid,” Maggie said, leaning her head against Kara’s shoulder companionably. “Me too.”

They sat in silence until the nurse led them back to see a doctor.

After examining the hand for about 10 seconds, the doctor looked up at Maggie.

“Can you make a fist?” the man asked.

“Not all the way,” Maggie said as her hand weakly flexed inward.

“Well, the good news is no ligament damage. Now, I’ll need some X-rays to confirm, but can I ask how you got this injury detective?” The doctor asked. 

“She fell. Onto the steel- floor. With her fist,” Kara said quickly, earning her perplexed look from Maggie and a skeptical one from the doctor.

“Uh huh. Now look, I’m not going to say I endorse it, medically or emotionally speaking, but detective, if you’re going to punch a wall, punch between the studs in the drywall next time? It’s a hell of lot cheaper and less painful,” the doctor said. 

“Yes, doctor,” Maggie said sheepishly, thankful that the doctor seemed thoroughly convinced by his own assumption. 

“You have a Boxer’s break in your fourth and fifth metacarpals. I’m going to give you a light splint and something for the pain, and then you’re going to go to your doctor’s office in a week to get a cast once the swelling is down. I’m going to send you in for some X-rays to confirm that nothing is seriously screwed up in there, but I think you should be back to being a South Paw in 6 to 8 weeks.”

Hours later, Maggie was finally walking out of the hospital with a metal splint on her now deeply aching left hand. After Kara dropped her at her apartment, she got a call from Winn informing her that the DEO had some promising results from the carpet sample she had deposited. 

In less than half an hour, she found herself back in Alex’s lab of all places as she tried to pay attention to a very earnest and excited scientist explaining his discoveries. The memories she had from this place seemed to taunt her even as she was forced to listen to technobabble from someone who wasn’t Alex, wasn’t the person who gave life to this kind of thing. It felt like a shambling automaton of what this kind of discovery should have been. 

Maggie kicked herself as she reminded herself to pay attention to this man, Dr. Richards, as he gesticulated wildly. 

“It’s the damndest thing. It’s a fairly simple protein structure, about the size of a prion, but it does things we’ve never seen before. As near as we can tell, it’s absorbed through the skin, and slips past the blood brain barrier, then, in less than minute from exposure, it acts like it freezes all of the brain’s processes,” Richards said.

“What do mean freeze?” Maggie said as she felt her arm throb in pain. 

“I mean literally, the brain resembles a frozen or rapidly cooled brain. The chemical processes are slowed almost a thousand times their normal rate,” Richards said. “Do you know how blood loss kills you?”

“The brain loses its oxygen supply without blood circulation,” Maggie said. 

“Exactly. That usually happens within 5 to 10 minutes. But there have been cases off rapidly cooled brains surviving much longer in low oxygen environments, like in avalanches or in sufficiently cooled water,” Richards said. “So, with this chemical present, it’s entirely possible that a brain could survive for days after the loss of oxygen should have killed it with little to no effect, assuming that fresh blood was reintroduced to the circulatory system and that the effects of the chemical are temporary.”

“So, it would be possible for a Medical Examiner to mistake a person in this condition as dead even if they were alive,” Maggie said, as excitement at gathering a key piece of evidence honed her focus back to its normal razor-edge. 

“Entirely. ME’s have mistaken plenty of living people for dead, even with all of the best modern medical tools. In this state it would be almost impossible to tell,” Richards said. “I’ll have to run some clinical trials on mice to be sure, but your theory is eminently plausible.” 

“Thank you,” Maggie said as she glanced down at her buzzing phone. “Shit!”

Rushing as safely as she possibly could through traffic in her much slower car, Maggie felt a scream of frustration build up in her throat as she felt less like she was driving back to her precinct and more like she was peddling. After spending five minutes searching for parking, she finally managed to get to her grief counselors’ door.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Maggie said as the man looked up from his desk.

“Are you?” the man asked.

“Yes, I am,” Maggie said as her eyebrows furled into anger. “I’ve had a hell of a morning.”

“And it delayed you from getting here until there were less than five minutes of your appointment left,” He said pointedly. 

“I broke my fucking hand,” Maggie said, lifting her cast. “You’re lucky I’m here at all.”

“I’m lucky you’re here? At your own department required counseling session?” the man asked. “That doesn’t strike you as at least slightly entitled?”

“I’m not- that’s not what I meant,” Maggie said, shoving down her anger. “I just meant that these sessions were not the first thing on my mind this morning.” 

“I’m just going to say that this doesn’t look good for you, detective. This isn’t a real good look at all,” He said.

“Ok, I can understand that this is inconvenient for you, but this is clearly due to an act of god,” Maggie said.

“Oh? When did you start drinking again?” the counselor asked.

“What? I didn’t start drinking again,” Maggie said.

“You broke your hand, out of clumsiness or in a fight. When did you start drinking again?” the counselor asked.

“I wasn’t drunk!” Maggie yelled. “What the hell is your problem with me?”

“I don’t have a problem with you. I’ve never had this kind of problem with anyone before, and I work with some people with anger issues. What’s setting you off, right now? Why do you feel the need to scream at me?” the man asked with sickening sincerity. 

“You just accused, no, stated, that not only was I an addict, but that I was a liar, to my face. In what world is that not something someone would get upset about?” Maggie asked.

“You can’t bully me into getting what you want, you know,” the man said as he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

“I’m not trying to bully you, what the hell? I just don’t know what your problem is,” Maggie said.

“You’re being very combative right now, and that’s not a good look for someone trying to prove that they’re emotionally stable,” the man said.

“I’m a touch irritable because again, I broke my hand,” Maggie said with a scowl. 

“Yes, detective, you’ve mentioned it,” the man said with a grimace. “I’ll make a note. Our session is over. Have a good day, detective.”

Maggie pushed down her seething anger into her chest. 

“Of course. Again, sorry for being late,” Maggie said through gritted teeth before she stormed out of the office.

The anger quickly soured in her stomach as she stormed out of the office, refocusing her mind on the increasingly important goal.

She had a job to do, and damn anyone that tried to stop her.


	5. Fade to Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie continues to have a bad day, the fic

Walking out into the damp midmorning air of the parking lot, Maggie struggled to pull her phone out of her pocket with her left hand when it rang. 

“Hey Maggie,” Winn said. “So now that I got the go ahead from J’onn to look into this officially, I was able to run down the financials on those employees from the morgue, and sure enough, I got a couple of hits.”

“Great! Just shoot me an email and I can run down some of the addresses for you,” Maggie said. 

“No no no, you have a broken hand, you are so not cleared for field work,” Winn said. 

“Winn, I swear to god, if I have to pull out the chancla to get that list I will,” Maggie growled into the phone.

“I’m sorry I’m doing you a favor,” Winn said. 

Maggie sighed in frustration.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that. Thank you, Winn, for running this down, and for being my tech support on the side for this,” Maggie said. 

“Your hand hurts, I assume?” Winn asked. “Kara told me.”

“Yes, but it’s more this fucking departmental counselor. He’s just determined to make me out to be some kind of unstable, hotshot jackass,” Maggie said. “Given how frequently I’m told I’m not a team player for trying to be a good cop, it has the potential to actually stick.”

“You’re a good cop though, Sawyer,” Winn said.

“Yeah. I’m worth the headache of having principles, usually. As long as I stay on my A-game,” Maggie said. “Anyway, these are morgue employees, Winn, not contract killers. I can deal with them with one hand.”

“All right, but check in before and after each one? Cadmus can get pretty jumpy about these things,” Winn said.

“I will,” Maggie said. “You know I’m always careful.”

“That is patently untrue,” Winn said.

“Fine. I will be careful. Bye, Winn,” Maggie said.

The afternoon interviews went well, with Maggie able to cross off two of the three employees as simply involved in dubious gambling rather than regular payments from a shadowy underworld figure, leaving the third as the obviously guilty party. Maggie did an interview with him, careful not to tip her hand about how much she knew as she managed to pin down the fact that he worked the night shift. 

Maggie left, resigning herself to the fact that she would probably need to surveil the man discretely to get any kind of leverage over him in order to find out what he knew about Cadmus. Maggie suspected the man was just a patsy given his below average intelligence, but she had precious few leads back to Cadmus. And she needed to find them, no matter how long it took. 

Sighing as she reached into her bag to fish out her keys, Maggie stiffened as she felt the sharp prick of a hypodermic needle stab into her neck. Reacting quickly, the detective threw her elbow back hard into the body of the person behind her, earning a grunt and enough separation for her to try to reach for her handgun. The world spun as a second man stepped in to grab her arm as she brought the gun up, sending it clattering to the floor in her weakened state. 

Maggie felt herself falling. The last thought she had before losing consciousness was that she was glad that she would get to see Alex soon, and she hoped she wasn’t mad that she wasn’t able to track down her body for her. 

Maggie groaned as her eyes flew open to see a shapeless cold grey above her. Shifting on the painfully hard floor, she squinted at the pain in her head exacerbated by a plastic tapping echoing from somewhere in front of her. She tried to sit up, but was quickly knocked back down by the splitting pain in her head. She grunted in pain as she jostled her hand, her arm feeling like it was on fire as her head and hand throbbed in rhythm with her heartbeat. 

Getting up more slowly this time, Maggie could see she was in some kind of cage inside of an industrial looking warehouse. Three of the walls were a dank concrete, running with foul smelling water between the rotted mortar while the fourth revealed the larger structure through the steel bars that were clearly freshly installed. Maggie quickly identified the source of the tapping as coming from an all too familiar woman directly in front of her. Even facing away from her and wearing an unfamiliar black jumpsuit, Maggie knew that she knew the outline of the woman industriously typing away at the small desk.

“Danvers,” Maggie croaked. 

The redhead didn’t respond. 

“Alex. Please,” Maggie said, her mind foggy and her heart clenching when Alex didn’t even turn around. 

“Alex!” Maggie yelled as she started to crawl towards the bars, too weak to stand. “Hey! You are not going to just ignore me!”

The typing stopped.

“Danvers. If you’re still in there, even a little bit, I could really use some help right now,” Maggie said. 

Alex stood up. Maggie’s heart leapt into her throat as she saw her Fiancée’s face for the first time in months. She could see no emotion in Alex’s eyes other than a dull curiosity, although her body seemingly told Maggie a great deal. Alex’s face seemed gaunt, pulled tighter over her sharp features than Maggie was used to seeing. The black bodysuit, despite the occasional piece of bulky armor under the more glove like Kevlar style protection, portrayed that Alex was somehow even thinner, more waspish than Maggie had known her before. Despite this, she seemed to have added some muscle to her form. Maggie realized that this was what Alex would look like if she trained even more incessantly than she did normally. 

This is what Alex would look like as a weapon.

Her heart was flash frozen seconds later at Alex brought down a set of metal shutters harshly with her skeletal, silver prosthetic hand. 

Maggie was left in the dark to stew in her own equally dark thoughts. Moaning as she let herself collapse, she finally gave herself over to despair, letting herself lie limp on the floor for what felt like hours. 

Her head slowly cleared of fog, the ache in her hand dulling to a manageable throb as she considered her situation. Alex was dead. Truly dead. She was right, as much as she hated it. 

On top of that, she was probably going to die here, unless she did something to escape. Considering her options, she realized she had almost none that had any hope of success. She steeled herself to at least go down swinging.

When the door to her cell swung open sometime later, she rushed at the opening. 

She managed to almost get a solid blow on the approaching figure, who she realized was the reanimated Alex. Even with the element of surprise, Maggie was knocked down and pinned in a matter of seconds with a series of rapid jabs Maggie recognized all too well from her sparring sessions with Alex. 

Instead of finishing her with a precise blow to the head, the thing wearing Alex’s face clapped a hand over Maggie’s mouth. The intensity of Alex’s eyes caught Maggie off guard, and for a second, she could almost believe that this was the real Alex solely from the heat of the fire burning as brightly as Alex had in life.

Then it opened its mouth.

“I need information,” it hissed. “Now. Whisper.”

Pulling back her flesh covered hand from Maggie’s mouth, the small woman glared at her for half a second before she responded.

“Quite the conversationalist you’ve become,” Maggie hissed back.

“Look, I only have seven minutes before the guard rotation changes. I need to know some things,” the redhead said. “Or we can start the conversation with Lillian early. Your call.”

“What do you want to know?” Maggie asked, bristling at Alex’s words.

“How do you know me?” she asked.

“I don’t,” Maggie said.

“But you recognize my face,” she said.

“What, you didn’t google the woman’s face you were wearing?” Maggie asked.

“I don’t- I don’t remember enough to search anything. Nothing seemed to come up from just my name. We’re at six and a half minutes now. Tell me,” Not Alex said.

“The woman who’s body you’re driving around used to be my fiancée,” Maggie said evenly.

“I’m gay?” the thing asked.

“This is like déjà vu all over again,” Maggie muttered while the thing on top of her seemed lost in thought. 

“I died before the wedding?” the cyborg asked.

“No. You left,” Maggie said, unable to stop the words from coming out.

“Why would I… did I do something? Did I cheat, or-” the monster said.

“Why do you care? It’s not like it matters what Alex Danvers did. You’re not her,” Maggie spat.

“Fine. How did we meet?” Alex said.

“You were a DEO agent. We met through work,” Maggie said.

“So, Lillian lied to me,” Alex said. “She told me I was a scientist who died in a car crash.”

“No. You died in a Cadmus ambush, so you could be kidnapped. Reprogrammed,” Maggie said. 

“I see,” Alex’s body said thoughtfully. “When Lillian brought me back, only parts of my brain were reactivated. She said it was due to alien tech she told me she doesn’t really understand, but given what you’ve told me, I’m pretty sure she was trying to just activate my procedural memory but nothing else.”

“So you can do all things that Alex could without being Alex,” Maggie said, not breaking her scowl.

“I’ve been having these flashes of memories recently. Like maybe she repressed them,” Alex said.

“Flashes?” Maggie asked quietly, trying to control the treasonous hope that bloomed in her chest.

“Nothing concrete. Surfing. Killing an alien with his own bone spike. A children’s rhyme,” Alex said. “No coherence.”

“Not me though?” Maggie asked. 

“No. Which sounds deliberate. Given what you’ve told me, I don’t think I entirely trust my employer anymore,” Not-Alex muttered. “I’m getting you out of here.”

Maggie blinked.

“You are?” Maggie asked.

“Despite our introduction, I generally try not to kill people who don’t deserve it,” Not-Alex said as she settled into a familiar crouch. She extended a hand to help Maggie up. After a second of hesitation, Maggie decided not to look a gift cyborg in the mouth.

“Stick close to me. There’s a way out through the ventilation system,” Alex said. 

As she followed whatever it was that had possession of the body of the woman she loved, Maggie wondered what possible reason CADMUS would have for this kind of deception. The only possible explanation Maggie could come up with was that she was being lulled into a false sense of security to let information on her investigation slip. 

Because Alex couldn’t be alive. She left and then Maggie buried her. Alex was gone, and she’d be damned if she let her memory be perverted like this. Not some shambling cyborg who’s ass she definitely wasn’t checking out. Maggie shook her head in confusion as she tried to focus on remembering the route that she was being led down.

In a matter of minutes, they came to a metal grate. Curving her silver skeletal fingers into the thin metal bars, the creature placed her foot on the wall and peeled back the metal with relatively little effort.

“Ladies first,” Not Alex said as she gestured to the hole.

Flashing a grimace, Maggie crawled into the dark space. She tried not to think of it as a metal coffin.

Maggie crawled along the narrow metal pathway as quietly as she knew how, ignoring the swell of anger in her chest at the thought of Alex’s body not being able to rest. 

She thought back to the cold, rainy night she had gotten a call from downstairs that they needed her to ID a body. She thought of how Alex had looked, pale and cold on the steel slab. How it hadn’t seemed real, even as her body tried to expel itself through her mouth at the shock. The taste of bitter bile welled up in her throat as tears her body didn’t allow her to purge herself of stung her eyes when she nodded.

Calming herself with a shuddering breath, Maggie tried to focus on figuring out the trap she was being led into.

“Are you ok?” Alex’s voice came from behind her, and Maggie had to kick herself to keep moving.

Finally, they made it to the garage.

“Alright, I think we’re in the clear. We can make it to the precinct in 20 minutes-“ Maggie said, cutting herself off when she felt a deep prick of pain in her neck. Seconds later she realized that whatever was inhabiting Alex’s body had her in a chokehold and had injected her with something.

Struggling futilely against the mechanical grip she was held in, Maggie’s vision immediately started to swim.

“Why?” Maggie managed to gasp out before darkness over took her vision.

The cyborg didn’t answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lot more surprise acupuncture than I originially planned lmao


	6. Necromantic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got real sick and my job and living situation has been real weird the last week but I have it an exciting climax that was originally going to be 2 chapters but honestly works a lot better as 1
> 
> Also there's a car chase and some gunfights and stuff

Maggie awoke with a pounding headache and a bone-dry mouth. Fighting the hundred-pound weights on her eyelids, Maggie tried to remember how she ended up in this dingy motel room.

“You’re awake. Good,” Alex said. 

“What’s going on,” Maggie slurred as she frowned in concentration.

“Drink,” Alex said, as a glass was lifted to her lips. After drinking the water for several seconds, she realized something was stopping her from holding the cup herself. Looking down, she realized she was tied to one of the tacky chairs in the room.

“What the fuck,” Maggie said, more of a statement than a question.

“Sorry for the headache, detective. But I couldn’t let you go to the authorities,” Alex said. 

“Why not?” Maggie asked.

Alex shrugged.

“I don’t know enough yet. Lillian’s been keeping me in the dark, my memory resembles swiss cheese, and I’ve been pretty much erased from the public record,” Alex said. “I don’t even know which side is right.”

“So what, your plan is to drug me and get the truth out of me?” Maggie asked. “Why wouldn’t I say anything to convince you?”

“This,” Alex said as she pulled out a syringe, knocking the air out of the end professionally.

“Fuck, what is that?” Maggie asked as Alex slid the needle into Maggie’s arm. 

“Something Cadmus put together. It won’t make you tell the truth, but if you lie, you’ll have a muscle spasm in your right side,” Alex said. “Keep in mind, the original version caused you to have a heart attack.”

“Great. Thanks, I guess,” Maggie said as she felt a strange warmth spread across her chest. “You always were a considerate lover.”

“So. I was your fiancée before you thought I died,” Alex said. “Why did you think I was dead?”

“You were exsanguinated, but your brain was preserved by an alien protein. Lillian just had to wait for you to be declared dead, then swoop in and take your body so that she could pump you full of blood again,” Maggie said.

“How did Lillian get my body without anyone noticing?” Alex asked. 

“She switched your body with another one in the morgue when you were scheduled to be cremated, poured in the parts of your hand that got vaporized in the explosion to fool anyone that tested the DNA,” Maggie said. “No evidence. Do I get to ask some questions?”

“Fine,” Alex said.

“You know Lillian killed you and body snatched you, probably fucked with your memories. Isn’t that enough to convince you she’s evil?” Maggie asked.

“I know she’s evil. I just need to be sure she’s wrong,” Alex said.

“Wrong? About aliens?” Maggie asked.

“They’re dangerous. But like I said, I don’t exactly trust Lillian,” Alex said.

“You really aren’t Alex, are you? Your sister’s an alien,” Maggie said.

Alex raised an eyebrow.

“Does that mean that I’m…?” Alex asked.

“No. She’s adopted, but you’re pretty close. She’s why you joined the DEO,” Maggie said. “You would have done anything to protect her.”

“How would becoming a scientist for the DEO help her?” Alex asked.

“You were the second in command. You were going to take over as Director from J’onn before you died,” Maggie said. “You wanted to climb the ranks so that you could be sure they would never hunt down your sister without you knowing about it.”

Alex crossed her arms, and Maggie felt a stab of pain in her chest as she noticed the adorable crinkle on her forehead she always got when she was deep in thought. Pushing forward, Maggie focused on getting through to whoever this was standing in front of her, this person that was becoming increasingly difficult to think of as different from Alex in any real way. A younger, more instinctual Alex, slower to trust and more extreme in her reactions, but maybe her Alex all the same.

“You were with the DEO for more than just protecting your sister. You wanted to protect people. Aliens were just the people you knew how to protect best,” Maggie said. 

Alex seemed lost in thought for several minutes before she asked her next question.

“How long were we engaged?” Alex asked.

“5 months,” Maggie said, feeling her throat constrict.

“Why did I break it off?” Alex asked.

“You wanted kids. I didn’t. Incompatible life styles. It was almost a year ago,” Maggie said.

“Well, gay soccer mom isn’t the first guess I would have made about myself before I died,” Alex said with a huff. “We didn’t talk about it before we got engaged?”

“You proposed on an impulse after the world almost got destroyed by Daxamites,” Maggie said. “It wasn’t very well thought out. Look, what’s the point of rehashing ancient personal history if you’re a different person?”

“I need to know what kind of person you are. Maybe I’m curious about the past. Are you over what you had?” Alex said.

“Yes,” Maggie said. Almost before the words were out of her mouth, Maggie felt her right hand and arm tighten into her body as every muscle tensed up.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, and Maggie could almost fool herself into thinking she heard genuine regret in her voice. “She must have meant a lot to you, if I’m not her. I think I have everything I need to know. I’ll call your precinct to come pick you up.”

“So, what do you plan to do now?” Maggie asked as Alex picked up the hotel phone.

“Now? First thing’s first. Cadmus has a weapon that I helped build, and I need to unbuild it,” Alex said. “Explosively, if possible.”

“That sounds like something the Alex I knew would say,” Maggie said. “What kind of weapon do you have to ‘unbuild’?” 

“A targeted kind of highly infectious bacteria. Have you ever heard of brain eating amoebas?” Alex said.

“You developed biological weapons for CADMUS that eat people’s brains?” Maggie asked. 

“Kind of. They only eat part of the parts of the brain that dictate impulse control. In conjunction with a new type of neurological stimulator CADMUS has developed, it makes it possible to potentially control an alien’s actions,” Alex said. “Or a humans.”

“You developed mind control for fascists,” Maggie said.

Alex shrugged.

“I didn’t have all the information. It wasn’t until I saw Super Girl on the news when I was doing surveillance in a diner that I realized Lillian might not have been giving me the whole truth,” Alex said. “Biological weapons seemed like the only reasonable way to fight back against vastly technologically and physiologically superior enemies when I was developing it.”

“You can hand this off to the DEO. You don’t have the resources to stop it yourself,” Maggie said.

Alex considered for a second. 

“Fine. Here’s the lab facility, it shouldn’t be too hard to reverse engineer a targeted antibiotic to treat any water supplies infected with it from the samples stored there. I made sure to leave some proteins susceptible to identification by an immune system after I saw Supergirl, just in case I needed to undo what I had done,” Alex said as she wrote down a street address. “I’m going to go blow up their stock piles, and hopefully Luthor along with them.”

“By yourself?” Maggie asked. 

“I know the facility,” Alex said.

“Look, if what you’re saying is true, it couldn’t hurt to have some back up,” Maggie said. “I don’t know… I don’t know if you’re my Alex still. But your at least an Alex, and I’m always going to be ride or die for Alex Danvers.”

Alex considered it.

“You. No one else,” Alex said.

“Oh, so you trust me now? Not going to inject me with any more drugs?” Maggie asked in annoyance as she tried to mask her fear when Alex pulled out a knife.

“Look, I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t know who to trust. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for what you must be going through right now,” Alex said as she started to cut the tape from the chair. “I wish I could remember who I was before.”

“Why do you even care?” Maggie asked. “If you don’t remember, doesn’t it not mean anything?”

“The way you looked at me in that tunnel. I felt something,” Alex said. “And I liked that feeling. Maybe that’s selfish, but I can’t keep going with no ties, with nothing to care about. Maybe I just want to make sense of you standing in my kitchen in an orange shirt”

“Oh,” Maggie said quietly. “That was the first night we- the first night Alex and me had sex.”

“Oh,” Alex said. “That uh, makes sense. Why I remembered feeling other things.”

“What kind of things?” Maggie asked.

“Feeling, um, a certain way about seeing you standing in my kitchen without pants,” Alex said with a small blush.

“And you were surprised that you were gay,” Maggie asked.

“I thought I was just like, happy to have a really good friend!” Alex said defensively.

“Christ, Danvers,” Maggie said, feeling her heart catch slightly at her use of the name.

“Ok, so I realize now how silly that sounds,” Alex said, throwing her hands up.

“Well, it’s nice to know some things never change,” Maggie said, trying to push the lump in her throat. “Alex.”

“Hey,” Alex said as Maggie blinked in confusion as to why this familiar stranger felt the need to put her cold silver hand to her cheek. Seconds later she felt her hot tears drying on her cheek as sobs began to well up in her throat.

“Hey, its ok. I might not be able to know how I fell into this, how I fell into being with someone as strong and determined and fierce as you. But I know a good thing when I see it. It’s ok,” Alex murmured into Maggie’s hair as she finally came apart in her lover’s arms and let out the storm of emotions she had kept stowed inside of herself. 

Alex held her as she cried, her arms seeming to remember Maggie better than her brain did with the way they naturally slid around her body in just the right way. Maggie suddenly knew, totally and completely knew, that this was Alex. Really Alex. Not some ghost or zombie or ghoulish joke the universe had decided to try to destroy her with, but just the same redheaded girl that just needed someone to really see her for who she was. Who deserved to be seen and loved and cared for and never, ever left out in the cold. The realization led to a sudden hardening of her resolve as she understood instantly what she needed to do to Alex, what she needed to say, what she would and could prepare herself to do to be with her.

None of which prepared either of them for the explosion that blew the cheap motel doors in.

Alex reacted first, ducking under the first rifle barrel that came through the door and redirecting it with her human hand while slicing through the Cadmus operators throat with a gash of blood with her robotic one. Ripping the rifle and tossing it behind her to Maggie, she kicked the man backwards and drew her pistol in one smooth motion as she began firing at the men storming through the back window. 

Maggie struggled to handle the rifle one handed and seated, unable to sit up with her leg still tied firmly to the cheap motel chair. Finally leveling the barrel with support from the crook of her injured arm, she fired from the hip at the black clad men threatening Alex from behind, screaming from the way her hand was jostled badly by the recoil. She desperately tried to keep the figures from hitting Alex with the rifles they fired that seemed silent beyond the dull thud of pressurized air. 

After only a few moments, her clip ran dry as she caught Alex staggering under the weight of the brutal assault of several men. Shoving them back for half a second, Alex picked up the chair Maggie was sitting in with a roar. For half a second, Maggie could see the half a dozen darts sticking out Alex’s body, before she was flying backwards through empty space, suspended for what seemed an eternity. She caught a glimpse of Alex falling seconds before her world shattered into an all-encompassing chill threatening to choke the life out of her. Kicking her legs instinctively, she burst to the top of the water, fighting to keep her head above the water of the motel swimming pool, encumbered as she was by the broken remains of the chair still taped to her leg. 

Crawling out of the pool dripping wet, her cold clothes clinging to her in the damp air. Attempting to orient herself, Maggie scrambled for the body of a dead Cadmus operator that had fallen from the window. Quickly rifling through the dead man’s possessions, she acquired a hand gun, car keys and a burner phone in a pouch in his vest.

Stumbling towards the parking lot, she heard car doors slamming shut. Pushing her unsteady legs into a run, she managed to catch two black SUV’s start to pull out of the parking lot. Pulling up her gun and firing at the tires, Maggie cursed her broken hand for its inability to steady her aim as her shots missed their mark. Running to the solitary stationary SUV left in the parking lot, Maggie exclaimed in jubilation as the keys slid into the door smoothly. Ripping the door open and putting the keys in the ignition, she gunned the engine as she took off in pursuit of the train of SUV’s, not even taking the time to strap herself in.

Grunting in pain as she held the wheel steady with her unbroken fingers, she flipped the phone open as she dialed Winn from memory. 

“Hello?” Winn asked. 

“Winn. I need you to track this phone, right now,” Maggie ground out.

“Maggie! Where are you? Where have you been?” Winn asked desperately. 

“I found Alex, Winn. I found her. She was taken by Cadmus, lost her memories. I’m in pursuit, not sure where I am,” Maggie said grunting in pain as she pulled the car into a hard, squealing turn. “Have to drive.”

“Maggie? Maggie?” Winn called as Maggie was forced to drop the phone as she gripped the wheel with her good hand as she threaded the heavy car through the streets, putting the gas pedal to the floorboard as she tried to keep Alex in her sight.

As the cars raced along the surface streets, Maggie finally identified the warehouse district they were speeding through. Suddenly, one of the SUV’s dropped back alongside her, windows rolling down to aim their weapons at her as the lead car turned hard towards a mass of shipping containers. Jerking the wheel to the side, Maggie hit the gas and ducked down as she slammed into the side of the other car. The heavy SUV crashed into fire hydrant and careened into the side of a building as Maggie struggled to maintain control of her skidding vehicle. 

Jamming the gas to the floor once she was in approximately the right direction, Maggie just caught the tail lights of the lead SUV into a ramp hidden by a set of sliding trap doors in the concrete. Pushing the damaged vehicle to it’s limit, Maggie managed to scrape past the rapidly closing doors with the shriek of metal as she slammed into the back end of what she was sure was Lillian’s SUV. 

Raising her head from the deployed air bags, Maggie grasped at a hard object digging into her shoulder. Finding the barrel of an assault rifle that had been flung from its holster in the back seat, Maggie pulled it into her lap to quickly check that the clip was full. Pushing open the smashed door, she fell to the ground in a rain of glass.

Hauling herself to her feet, she finally noticed a metallic scraping sound retreating away form her. 

Stumbling down the barely lit concrete tunnel, she saw Lillian dragging a large metal pod down the sloping tunnel, the frosted glass just barely showing Alex’s pale face and shock of red hair. 

“Stop,” Maggie growled out, the assault rifle leveled one-handed at Lillian with the help of the gun strap over her shoulder. 

“Detective Sawyer. You’re alive,” Lillian said icily as her two guards came up behind her from where they were prepping a small submersible. Maggie surmised that this must have been Lillian’s escape plan, ditch the SUV’s and get out into the open ocean to hide out while she built her strength, all with the help of her greatest asset.

Alex. 

“Let her go,” Maggie said. 

“Pathetic. You think you can barge in here with a rifle and shoot the bad people dead like some kind of cowboy,” Lillian said. “All because you can’t accept the truth, because you insist on putting your sentimentality before logic.”

“I said let my wife go, Luthor. We both know you’re not acting rationally otherwise,” Maggie said.

“You think this is the first time I’ve wiped her memory, detective? You think this is the first time Danvers went rogue? Do you really think that we would have developed a technology to control minds and not use it on the inventor immediately?” Lillian said with an incredulous laugh. “I didn’t kill your wife. I’ve killed your wife half a hundred times.”

Maggie pulled the trigger without thinking.

The assault rifle barked in her hands as she emptied the entire clip in one burst. The Hallway exploded into noise and muzzle flashes and bloody mist as the guards and Maggie exchanged fire at close range. Maggie saw Lillian fall backwards before she lost track of everything.

As deafeningly suddenly as it had started, the firing ended less than five seconds later, Maggie noticed the two guards fall lifelessly to the ground next to Lillian and Alex. At first Maggie wondered how both guards had missed at such close range as she started to stoop towards Alex only to fall forward. Looking down, she saw bullet holes in her arm, her chest, and one that had shattered her thigh.

“Oh. Fuck,” Maggie said more out of surprise than anything else. 

Refocusing on her task, she pushed herself forward towards where Alex’s stasis tube had fallen to the floor. It took agonizingly long to get the twenty feet to where Alex’s tube had fallen, and by the time she got there, she could barely see straight from how much pain she was in. She had to focus on getting Alex out, on getting Alex to safety. Opening the latch of the sliding glass door and pulling down with everything she was worth, Maggie was able to free Alex. 

Seconds later, Alex’s eyes flew open. 

“Officer Sawyer,” Alex said. “Maggie.”

“Hey, Alex,” Maggie said, her vision blurring for several long seconds before it returned to normal. “I got a little shot. I’m sorry, babe, I know you told me to be careful.”

“Sawyer, what happened? Jesus, I need to get pressure on these,” Alex said as she frantically climbed out of the tank to treat Maggie’s wounds as best she could.

“Alex, you know I loved you. Love you. Gonna love you forever. Even after we’re both dead. Maybe I’ll get to see you again,” Maggie mumbled as she tried to focus on her fiancée. 

“Maggie, stay with me. Focus on my voice. Don’t fall asleep, ok? You can’t fall asleep,” Alex said, more emotion than she expected leaking into her voice over someone she barely knew. “You’re not dying on me.”

“Said the same thing to you, but you died on me. Left me. Again,” Maggie mumbled as she felt her head roll to the side only to be brought back around with a hard slap to the face.

“No sleeping! You’re not allowed to die,” Alex said as she felt tears roll down her face. “Maggie, please. Please stay with me. Don’t go. You can’t go.”

“You really want me to stay? You want me back?” Maggie asked as blackness began to creep in at the edge of her vision as she was vaguely aware of Alex applying a tourniquet to her leg.

“Maggie, yes, please stay with me. I don’t want you to leave. I don’t remember before, but you have to stay. You’re the only thing I can still feel about, please, please don’t leave,” Alex said as she desperately worked to stop the bleeding.

“You know I couldn’t stay away. Never have been good at saying no to you. Never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry you died,” Maggie babbled as more darkness crept into her vision. 

“Maggie, Maggie, It’ll be ok if you stay. Just stay. Stay for me,” Alex said as tears rolled down her face.

“Anything for you,” Maggie said as she heard the sound of heat vision from a far-off place. “Ride or die.”

“Alex?” Maggie heard someone say, even as her vision narrowed down just Alex’s face.

“Super Girl, please, get her to a hospital,” Maggie heard Alex beg.

“Oh my god, Maggie,” Kara said. 

The last thing Maggie remembered was being scooped up into two strong arms.


	7. Killing Me Softly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I can't believe I finished this chapter at defintitely the same rate I have been posting the other ones!
> 
> In all seriousness, thanks to all for tagging along on this crazy AF adventure, it's been a slog to write at times but it was so worth it for the good parts and to make this story whole and complete. Thanks for all the feedback and all the support, Love y'all and I hope this is a satisfactory conclusion to all this wangst

Maggie blinked as she opened her eyes, the harsh fluorescent light scalding her retinas as she returned to the land of the living. Groaning in pain, she tilted her head around as much as she could to look around the room. To her right, she could see a messy shock of red hair jerk up at the sound of her moan to reveal warm brown eyes she had thought she would never see again.

“Hey, Danvers,” Maggie croaked. “We gotta stop meeting this way.”

“Then stop getting shot yourself shot, Sawyer,” Alex said, her face turning serious. “You were so close to not making it, Maggie, and you don’t get to do that to me again. Not again.”

“I’m sorry. To be fair, you almost died first, so I feel like I get a mulligan on this one,” Maggie mumbled as she closed her eyes. 

Maggie felt Alex close her warm hand around her own, squeezing it gently.

“Yeah, I did. I’m sorry,” Alex said. “I- J’onn and Kara have been filling me in on what’s been going on. Especiallly with you, and everything you went through to find me. Everything you went through when I disappeared. Both times.”

“First time we agreed on it,” Maggie said. 

“And I can see how much of a mistake that was,” Alex said.

“Alex, don’t do this to yourself,” Maggie said quietly. “You can’t be happy with me, you want kids.”

“No. I want you. I can only ever remember wanting you, even after the breakup. And kids were an extension of wanting you until I got target fixated on that one thing. I don’t know why I thought I wanted the bullet points version of a life instead of an actual life with you, and I honestly might never get those memories back. But I know I was miserable the entire time after I made that decision. Every single memory after that, from drinking myself to sleep most nights to going through the motions to putting on my socks in the morning, was tinged with loss,” Alex said. “Because I’d lost the thing that mattered most in my life. Everything else was just hollow.”

Maggie felt an uneasy sense of optimism rise in her stomach, the kind she’d been burned by every time she had let it direct her actions. Desperately, she tried to will her brain to find the danger lurking in Alex’s words that felt far too much like a balm to heal her.

“You shouldn’t be making this kind of decision right now,” Maggie said. “You barely remember who you are.”

“It’s coming back, and it comes back faster when I’m around you. And I know enough to know that even when I had no idea who you were, I trusted you when I couldn’t trust anyone else,” Alex said. “Maggie, I have never been more sure that I need you in my life.”

Maggie closed her eyes.

“Look, what your saying isn’t exactly unappealing,” Maggie said. “But.”

“I know that jumping right back into things isn’t the best idea. But even with what little I remember? I remember you, Maggie,” Alex said. “I missed you before I even knew who you were. And I’m willing to take things slow. We’re not the same people anymore, but I want to get to know you again.”

“Alex, you have a tendency to not think these things through,” Maggie said, feeling desperation to keep Alex away from her heart, before she broke down completely. “You can’t- you can’t leave again.”

“I’m never leaving again. I made a promise to you, to stay with you no matter what. And I’m going to be here,” Alex said. “I’m not going to let you push me away again because you think you don’t deserve happiness. Maggie, you’re my happiness.”

“Alex,” Maggie said, and instead of a reprimand it came out a sob.

“Hey, it’s ok, I’m here,” Alex said quietly as she pulled Maggie to her chest. 

Now that she had opened the flood gates, she couldn’t close them again as a huge reservoir of tears began spilling out her all at once.

Alex let Maggie cry herself out, relief and pain mingling in the salty streaks falling across her cheeks. They stayed in that position, Alex’s lithe body bent over double and wrapped around Maggie, deftly avoiding any of her recent injuries as she let Maggie cry herself out on her shoulder for several long, heaving minutes.

“I should probably let Kara in before she vibrates her molecules apart with excitement,” Alex said with a wry smile.

She had barely finished her sentence before the door flew open as Kara rushed to Maggie’s bedside.

“Oh my gosh I heard everything! I’m so glad you’re ok and I’msohappyforthebothofyoubecauseyourmysisterandyouralsomysisterandIjustloveyoubothsomuchandIwantyoutobehappy!” Kara said.

“Kara said-“ Alex said.

“I’ve learned to interpret super speech,” Maggie said with a chuckle.

“I’m too happy to be mad that you made a Leslie Willis reference,” Kara said, her smile completely undimmed and forehead uncrinkled as she gingerly squeezed Maggie’s hand. 

“I’m happy for both of you too, by the way,” Winn called as he entered the room. “Congrats on not being dead. You know, either of you.”

“Thanks, Scully,” Maggie said.

“Ok, Alex has red hair and is a no-nonsense doctor, how have I gotten stuck with Scully?” Winn answered. 

“I don’t know, but I have the feeling that I should continue the joke. Also, an urge to bully you?” Alex said. 

“She’s back!” Winn said. 

“She is,” Maggie said, smiling as she lay back and just feeling Alex’s warm hand in hers. “She is.”

“She is, thanks to some very solid detective work,” J’onn said as he strode into the room. “Thank you for bringing my daughter home, Maggie. Without you, we would all be lost.”

“What did you expect? I detect. Can’t really turn it off,” Maggie said with a small grin as she let her heavy eyes close.

“I just got off the phone with Eliza, she’ll be coming up to stay for a while, at least while both of you are healing,” J’onn said. 

“That’s good. I’m assuming I’ll have a lot more free time to do that now,” Maggie said. “What with probably being fired and all.”

“You’ve been indefinitely suspended by the department, yes. I didn’t want to tell you so soon after surgery,” J’onn said. 

“They can’t do that! She was right, Alex is here and Maggie is the only reason she’s back at all!” Kara said. 

“They can and they did. I never had too many friends in the department and I was already on thin ice. Kara, I broke direct orders, about 50 standard protocols and in the case of pursuing this as a private citizen about half a dozen laws,” Maggie said. “Different world, maybe. In this one the Old Guard was just waiting for the chance to push me out, and I gave them a laundry list of reasons.”

“True as that may be, you’ve also given me a laundry list of reasons to poach you away from your department,” J’onn said. 

“Be a fed? No offense, but your department is a bit more of a hammer than I’m comfortable with,” Maggie said, sitting up. “And working under Alex poses some ethical problems.”

“Not if you were in a separate department of the agency, like a newly formed branch designed to work with social services to safely integrate extranormal citizens into society in a safe way for everyone,” J’onn said.

“That doesn’t seem outside the DEO’s purview?” Alex asked.

“Not if it leads to actionable intelligence on truly dangerous extraterrestrials and powered individuals along with reducing crime rates based on misunderstandings,” J’onn said.

“Community policing,” Maggie chuckled. “Only viable model.”

“Alex talked about it to me a while ago, and I’ve finally secured funding for the program,” J’onn said. 

“I did?” Alex asked. 

“You got the idea from talking to Maggie,” J’onn said. 

“Sounds about right,” Alex said, giving Maggie’s hand a squeeze. “She’s pretty damn smart. Don’t need to remember much to know that.”

“You’re going to make me cry again, you big jerk,” Maggie said, falling back and closing her eyes to try to hold back the tears. 

“We should probably let the two of you rest for a bit,” Winn said as the trio shuffled out of the room.

“Thanks,” Maggie sniffled, grateful that Winn still remembered how she was about crying in front of anyone that wasn’t Alex. 

“Sorry for making you cry. Twice,” Alex said.

“Get over here and kiss me, you idiot,” Maggie said.

Their lips locked in a familiar dance, Alex’s mouth and tongue as soft and commanding and pliant against hers as always, as cozy as their shared bed and as fiery as the heat ripping through her stomach.

She had missed this so damn much.

“We’ll figure this out, ok? Now sleep. I’ll be back when you wake up,” Alex whispered as she pressed a kiss against Maggie’s cheek.  
“Stay until I’m asleep?” Maggie asked. 

“Of course, baby. Of course,” Alex said as she ran a hand absently through Maggie’s hair. “I’ll stay as long as you need.”

Maggie drifted off with a smile on her lips that was a better painkiller than the healthy dose of opioids flowing through her veins.

Things were right in the world.


End file.
